39
Running.
Between work and my personal life, it wasn’t something that I had the chance to do alot. Frankly, it wasn’t something that I enjoyed doing. I only did it when I was super stressed and needed to clear my head.
But considering that I hadn’t done it in a very long time… well, it explained why I was panting for air just thirty minutes into the run.
Slowing to a stop, I leaned against the wall of a tall building, doubling over and bracing my hands on my knees as I struggled to catch my breath. When I heard the sounds of footsteps fast approaching, I straightened and plastered on a fake smile as though I gave a fuck whoever this person was.
As if I wasn’t seconds away from crumbling to the ground in a heap of sweat and messy thoughts.
The owner of the footsteps I’d heard jogged past. It was a female jogger and she hadn’t even spared me a glance.
I swiftly went back to bracing my hands on my knees and breathing out through my mouth, my head clouded with worries, thoughts I hadn’t succeeded in getting rid of even with my run.
Mom.
Alex.
Thankfully, Jo hadn’t left us alone for the remainder of my visit, else it would have been unbearably awkward and uncomfortable for the both of us. By us, I meant mom and I. I’d ended up leaving without giving her a hug-which I usually did-and it was Jo that had walked me to the front porch-which mom usually did.
The poor teenager had probably felt the tension in the air between us, so she’d filled the silence up with talk about Miami. She’d hesitated slightly when she’d walked me to the front porch and I’d known that she wanted to ask what was up, but she never found the courage to-which was good because I hadn’t wanted to talk about it. I still didn’t.
I really wanted to stop thinking about it. Needed to. But the thoughts just wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone.
I had my own shit to deal with. I didn’t have to worry about my mother-who obviously didn’t want me to worry about her, mind you- on top of everything else. It was an unwelcome distraction, and I hadn’t been able to focus on anything else ever since.
Then there was Alex.
That subject wasn’t even something I wanted to touch with a ten foot pole, but I’d come to realise that it didn’t matter whether I wanted to think about him or not. He was in my head, his presence, huge and powerful and impossible to ignore.
Between him and mother, I was positive that I was going to go crazy.
I guess the reason I ran whenever I was stressed was because it made me feel like I was running away from my problems in a sense. During that period of time, my attention was divided, my head was blissfully empty, the morning breeze was nothing short of soothing, and I had my headphones on, listening to therapeutic music.
Nothing could touch me during that time. But for some reason, it had stopped working-at least right now, it wasn’t.
I didn’t know how long I stayed there in that position, but it wasn’t until I heard my phone ring that I pushed up, leaning fully against the building as I looked at the caller.
“Hi, Bales.”
“Laura.” Her voice was groggy and sleepy, proving that she’d just woken up, which made sense because it wasn’t even 7am yet. “How are you?”
“I’m good. What’s up?”
The day was starting to get brighter with every minute that passed, and I couldn’t keep standing by the building without looking like a total creep if one of the occupants came out and saw me.
I began walking at a slow pace without a destination in mind, yet knowing that I couldn’t go back home so soon. My head was still clouded and I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything even if I tried.
There was some shuffling on her end, then I heard the unmistakable sound of spoon clanking against a ceramic cup. “I was making coffee and thought about you.”
A rush of warmth accompanied her words, and right on its heels, was the answer to my destination problem.
Coffee.
I could go get coffee at any shop and stay there for a while. The change of scenery would no doubt clear my head-even if for a little while. And I wouldn’t have to search for long, there was at least one coffee shop in each street.
“Why are you up so early?” Balery asked.
“The same reason I get up early every other single day, of course.” My steps quickened now that I had a destination in mind. “I have to go to work.”
“You’re not going to work today,” she said matter-of-fact.
“What do you mea-”Content property of NôvelDra/ma.Org.
Shit.
That night in Miami when she’d come into my room to plunder me with questions about Alex, I’d told her that I’d take a day off after we arrived to rest before going back to work.
That I’d rather lie than tell her the truth about something so small just showed the kind of ‘best friend’ I was. I was ashamed of myself.
Shaking my head, I said, “Yeah, you caught me. I don’t know why I even lied in the first place.” A coffee shop came into sight and I hurried towards it. “I stepped out for a run.”
“Oh.” There was a pause. “What’s wrong?”
She asked the question softly. So softly that it caused a lump of emotion to form in my throat.
I lied.