Alec’s

The room was too quiet. Aspen had fallen asleep the moment her head touched the pillow, her monkey and elephant clutched tightly in her little arms. I watched her for a long moment, brushing a few stray strands of hair from her forehead. Her tiny mouth hung open just a little, breath even and soft. The kind of peace that only children seemed capable of after a long, magical day.

Today had been... perfect. And that terrified me more than anything else.

I stood and padded softly to the other side of our room. The moonlight filtered in through the tall windows, casting a soft glow over the walls. I looked outside and took a breath, one that was meant to ground me. My body ached with a comfortable tiredness, the kind that came from laughter and walking too long and smiling too wide.noveldrama

But my heart? That was anything but comfortable.

I leaned against the wall and let the memories play.

Alec lifting Aspen onto his shoulders, her squeal of delight ringing in the air. Her tiny hands gripping his hair, leaning down to whisper nonsense into his ear. Him pretending to be a lion and chasing her around the food court. Me laughing- actually laughing-when he made roaring noises and nearly scared the teenager behind the ice-cream stand.

We had explained the animals to her, side by side. Her innocent questions about tusks and manes and why lions looked so lazy in the sun. Alec had been patient and animated, his arm brushing mine more than once. And every time, that stupid spark zipped through me.

Then there was the diner. Aspen with her chocolate-streaked smile and those big, gleaming eyes. The way she had looked between me and Alec, giggling when I fed her a bite of cake... and then innocently turning her eyes on me and asking, "Can you feed Alec too?"

The way Alec's eyebrows had shot up, amused and a little hopeful.

I had played it off. I had fed him a small bite, and we both laughed it off like it was nothing. But it wasn't nothing.

Because I had felt it. The way his lips brushed my fingers. The heat that bloomed low in my belly. The silent question in his eyes and the confusion in mine.

I pressed a hand to my chest now, fingers splayed wide as if I could hold it all together.

What was happening to me?

I didn't know how long I stood there, lost in the whirlwind of thoughts, when I felt her presence.

Nyx.

I closed my eyes, pressing the heel of my palm against my forehead. "Why is this happening? I don't understand Nyx. I just don't."

Nyx didn't answer immediately.

"Because this is what you wanted. Before the pain. Before the betrayal. And now that it's within reach again, your heart doesn't know whether to run or leap."

My throat tightened. "I don't know if I can forgive him, Nyx. So much has happened. I simply can't forget what he did. What he put me through."

"You don't have to. Not all at once. But you do have to stop running from what you feel."

I thought about Alec's eyes today, how they'd softened every time he looked at Aspen. How they found mine almost every time. How proud he'd been, carrying Aspen around. How warm.

How real.

I was so afraid of what was happening.

I was afraid of letting him in.

But what if a part of me had never really let go?

"I feel like forgiving him would be a betrayal to the old me. The girl he crashed, despite her loving him with everything she had. I feel like forgiving him would be a betrayal to all the pain and heartbreak I went through."

"But isn't it a betrayal in itself if you choose to keep holding on?" She asked gently, her warmth filling me "Won't it be a betrayal to the future you? Future us? Won't you be robbing future us of a full life by

refusing to heal and letting go?"

I stood quietly as the war raged inside me. Logic and feelings wreaked havoc

inside me in a way that left me feeling restless.

I could feel panic rising inside me, so my bare feet padded me across the cool floor and towards the door. I needed movement, needed to

breathe. I closed the door sinet

before rushing through the hallway, down the stairs and out the kitchen

door.

I took a deep breath of the cold air as I looked out at the moonlit yard. The stars

were bright, the night calm.

But inside, I was a storm of contradictions.

My body yearned for Alec. The bond between us was undeniable, humming louder every day. But it wasn't just lust anymore. Not just physical craving. It was that quiet ache of wanting... everything.

A family. A future. Something whole and good and maybe even a little bit magical.

Spotting a bench, I walked towards it and sat down, bringing my knees up to my chest: The cold air stung my skin, but it did nothing to cool me My thoughts raced, making it hard to keep up with them, so I eventually just gave up and just let them

wander around in my head.

I don't know how long I sat there when my nose picked up his scent. I felt him

before I even heard his footsteps.

"What are you doing here, Alec?" I asked without turning to look at him.

I felt a shuffle before feeling him sit beside me. Only then did I turn, only to find

him already staring at me.

"I saw you and I thought I should come and check up on you."