Chapter 58
Part of that was true-the clear-headed part. I had picked up a slight obsession with alcohol since Noah and I had gotten married, and had often used red wine to dull my frayed nerves. But not anymore.
Out of the corner of my eye, I could have sworn I saw Noah's eyes flick briefly to my belly before returning to my face, but when I turned to look at him fully, his expression was carefully neutral. We lapsed into silence after that, the awkwardness hanging heavy in the air between us as we slowly nursed our respective drinks.
I found myself stealing furtive glances at Noah, taking in the strong line of his jaw, the way his brow furrowed ever so slightly as he stared down into his glass. He looked... pensive, I realized.
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But then, suddenly, he cleared his throat. "So. What were you doing with Emma earlier? I thought you! hated her."
I gave a casual shrug. "I don't hate her."
Noah quirked an eyebrow. "That's news to me. What changed?"
I hesitated, suddenly reluctant to divulge the true nature of our meeting without Emma's explicit permission. She had, after all, asked me to keep the divorce a secret for now. And although we had a troubled past, I truly felt for her-seeing as how we were in similar positions-and there was no way I was going to break my promise already.
"It was just... a personal matter," I said, taking a sip of my soda.
Noah's eyes narrowed slightly at my evasiveness, but to my surprise, he didn't press the issue further." Fair enough," he said with a nod, returning his gaze to his whiskey.
Another stretch of silence passed between us, this one slightly less strained than the last. As I studied the bubbles in my glass, I found myself mulling over the words Emma had spoken to me earlier that evening about leadership.
"Noah?" I finally asked, unable to keep my thoughts fully to myself any longer. "Can I ask you something?"
"What is it?" he asked somewhat curtly.
I drew in a deep, steadying breath. "Do you think... I mean, have you ever thought that maybe I could be a good leader? For the pack, I mean?"
Noah went perfectly still beside me, his glass frozen halfway to his lips. For a long, agonizing moment, I didn't think he was going to answer me at all. Then, finally...
"I've always thought that about you," he said rather matter-of-factly before taking a sip of whiskey. My head whipped around at that, my eyes widening with surprise. Talk about news. "You... you have?"
He nodded, knocking back the rest of his whiskey with a slight grimace, then rapped two knuckles on the bar to signal a refill. "Yeah. Just as long as you actually apply yourself, and you don't-" He stopped suddenly, snapping his mouth shut as though he was about to say something nasty but then thought better of it.
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I narrowed my eyes. "If I don't what?"
Noah paused, sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth before he spoke. "As long as you don't let people's opinions of you beat you down," he finally said.
For a moment, I was angry at his words. But then, I realized that they were true; in the past, I had never applied myself, not really, to the position of Luna. And well, people's opinions of me had been the thing that had killed me in my past life. "You're right," I said.
Noah blinked rapidly at me, his gaze finally meeting mine for the first time since we had sat down." Really?" he blurted out.
I nodded. "I haven't applied myself. And I do let others' opinions of me get the better of me. But I want to change that." I paused, inhaling deeply before continuing. I turned and face him on my stool. "I want to work with you." "Work with me?"
"Yes. I want to start getting involved more." I quickly looked away, suddenly feeling an undeniable heat rise to my cheeks at the sight of his green-eyed gaze on me. "If you wouldn't mind that, I mean."
Noah was silent for a long time, and if I was being honest, I felt like a fool. You shouldn't have asked for permission at the end, I told myself. You sound weak,
But then, his response-short but sweet-shocked me like a jolt of electricity.
"Sure."