ALWAYS AND FOREVER

Kathy Pov

“Do you have classes this weekend?”

Cross asked as I brushed my hair, I turned to face him, he was putting on his wristwatch, he looked so handsome in his black trousers, matching black shoes, and a plain white sleeve, his hair was brushed up in a wavy style that made him look so hot, yup my husband was a hottie and I couldn’t help but drool.

“Are you going to answer me or are you going to stare at me all day?”

He asked and I rolled my eyes before going back to getting ready.

“Why? Wanna take me out on a date?”

I asked playfully, I knew that wasn’t it, we have been together for almost two months now, we were cool, but we have never been out together, we did every other thing normal couples do aside from the dates and the ‘I love you,’ Cross has been nice to me, he wasn’t what I thought he was, yes he was kind of controlling and annoying but when I call him out on it, he apologizes and tries not to do it again, my life has pretty much been going well since I moved to New York, even at school I made a few new friends, unlike when I use to live in Arizona without any friends after Juliet and I fell out, now I had people to hang out with, I talked things over with Juliet and we are cool but we weren’t as close as we were before the Louis incident, but at least we were no longer in bad terms, we sometimes call each other.

“Yes, we haven’t gone out together since we got married.”

Cross said bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Wow, that’s really it?”

I asked in shock, I wasn’t expecting him to actually say yes.

“Yes, why do you look so shocked?”

“Is it not obvious? Because I am shocked, you are asking me out on a date,”

“Why is that a shocker? You are my wife,”

“I know, but,”

“But nothing, if you are free then, we are going on a date,”

“Aye, Captain,”

I said raising my hand in salute, he just shook his head, I never pictured marriage to Cross would be like this, we were friends and he helped me adjust to my new life, to the extent that I have even forgotten about Louis and his betrayal, every day with Cross hasn’t all been rosy, we had our ups and downs, quarreled and stop talking to one another, but in the end, we always makeup, it was so different from what I had with Louis or any other man, It’s not like Cross was perfect but at least, he wasn’t anything like what I expected.

“Good girl, now please hurry up, or we are going to be late,”

“I am done,”

I said as I carried my bag, I had a test this morning and had prepared for it all night, Cross had pulled an all-night with me too, another thing I found interesting and amazing about him, he was always ready to help and never let me feel alone, when I had to go all the way to Florida for a coursemate’s wedding, he had come along with me without complaining, or when I had my periods last month and had been hit with cramps from hell, he had stayed up late with me and did everything to make me comfortable, he made it so easy to love him.

“Wait, the mudafucking up,”

I thought suddenly stopping on my tracks, Love? No that can’t be, I like him but I don’t love him, there is no way I have fallen for him, we have been married less than three months.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“What is it?”

He asked stopping too, then I realized I had said it out loud.

“Nothing, I just remembered a part that I am supposed to read but I didn’t,”

I lied resuming walking.

“You can just check it out in the car, or when you get to school,”

“Yeah,”

I said as we both walked downstairs to the kitchen where breakfast was already served, trust Nora on that.

“Good morning Nora,”

I greeted as I sat at the table.

“Morning darlings, how was your night?”

“Fine and yours?”

“It was okay, I see you are ready to leave,”

She said going back to what she was doing, I froze when Cross sat next to me and placed his hands around my shoulders, it wasn’t the first time he did it, in fact, it was one of the things I have gotten used to but the thought that had entered my head a few minutes ago made me react that way.

“What? Why are you so shocked?”

He asked picking a slice of bread from the plate.

“I am not, I guess I am just tensed because of the test since it my first since I got in, I don’t wanna mess it up,”

I lied again, the test had nothing to do with my present dilemma, not even one bit, I prepared for it and I am confident in passing, it’s the fact that I might have unknowingly fallen in love with Cross, which would be a disaster.

“Don’t be nervous, you studied and I know you are smart, you will do well,”

He said with food in his mouth.

I picked on my food while looking at him, he seemed not to mind because he continued eating, could It be that I have fallen for him for real?

I thought.

“You know, you might wanna eat your food instead of eating me out with your eyes,”

He said calmly with a smile that was filled with masculine pride.

“I am not eating you out with my eyes, I can barely see you, my mind is in school,”

I said as I started to eat.

“Liar,”.

“You guys, eat in silence,”

Nora scolded like a mom, I smiled at her, she has been nothing but kind and helpful, she made sure to cook and also made sure we ate and ate healthily, I know she gets paid but still she deserves some accolades, I don’t talk much with the others yet based off the fact that I am always busy and mostly see them during weekends but they all were kind to me.

“It’s not me Nora, it’s Kathy,”

Cross accused.

“Eat in silence Mr.”

I scolded as I tried to force myself to eat, the food just wasn’t doing it for me this morning, I spared a glance at Cross who was looking at me.

“What?”

I whispered not wanting to be scolded by Nora again.

“You were frowning, are you okay? If you are not ready, you can just call in sick and take a makeup test when you are ready,”

“No, I am fine,”

“You don’t seem like it though,”

“Leave me alone, and mind your business,”

I muttered under my breath but he seemed to have heard anyway.

“Alright, I will let you be since that’s what you want, I was just looking out for you,”

He said as he stood, he sounded annoyed.

“Are you done eating?”

I asked, looking at his unfinished food.

“Yes, I lost my appetite, the energy here ain’t for me,”

“It’s not that deep dude,”

“Wanna tell me what this is about? I am trying to help here,”

“I already said it’s nothing,”

I said with my voice slightly raised, I don’t know why I was making the situation even worst, he didn’t really do anything to me.

“Fine, suit yourself, meet me in the car if you still want us to go together unless you don’t wanna ride with me and take your car?”

He added.

“You can go, I will drive to school,”

I replied.

“Really? Okay, suit yourself,”

He said and left, I knew I shouldn’t make an issue out of this, but I was confused right now, Falling in love was the last thing on my mind, I have a hell lots of things ahead of me, and to top it all, if I am indeed in love with him, then it just going to be me in it because I know he wasn’t and will never fall for me.

“I just hope I am overthinking,”

I muttered to myself, I sat there even though I was no longer eating, I wanted him to leave before I did.

“Where is Cross?”

Nora asked.

“Off to work,”

I replied wiping my mouth clean before standing up to leave.

“I thought you guys were going together,”

“Yeah, but something came up,”

I said and excused myself before she could ask any further questions, I went back upstairs and stayed there until I heard Cross’s car leave, then I went back downstairs, got into my car, and drove to school, as I expected the test was super easy but my mind was troubled, one by the fact that I made Cross and I fight even though he was just looking out for me and also the main reason was the more I think about it the more it became clear that I had developed some kind of feelings for Cross that may not be healthy for me, it made me moody throughout the day.

“Hey, Kathy, the guys are having a hangout wanna come along?”

Arina, a pretty girl who was from Russia asked.

“No, thanks Arina, I am not so fine, I just want to go home and rest,”

“Oh, I noticed, you have been so quiet today, must be the stress from studying,”

“Yeah, Arina!”

“Uh?”

She asked, I didn’t want to talk to anyone but I couldn’t get my head around the fact that I might have fallen for Cross, yes I liked him and admired him but that couldn’t be love, right? Arina stared at me in expectation but I couldn’t form the words to ask what was in my head.

“Nevermind, I am just going to go home,”

I said deciding to keep it to myself.

“Alright take care of yourself,”

Arina said and left, I stood up walked to where I parked my car, and drove myself home, when I got home I went straight to our shared room, took a bath, and laid in bed.

“You are not in love with him,”

I tried to convince myself, but it didn’t work, I couldn’t figure out from where or when my feelings for him changed either, I just laid there for the rest of the afternoon not even bothering to go down and eat lunch, I didn’t even have an appetite to eat, I still had to apologize to Cross when he got back from work, there was no reason for me to have acted the way I did earlier, it’s not his fault that I can’t understand my feelings…