Rogue C49
“Well, I want to try. I’ve never tried before and there’s a place over there where you can try.”
“That’s great. You should.”
“Yeah. I was a bit nervous to, but Hayden told me not to be.”
I smile. “Well, it’s okay to be nervous, as long as you do it anyway. But only if it’s the first kind of scared. Right?”
“Right.” He looks down at his arm. “Is it done?”
Lily’s voice is amused. “Almost. Is your brother or sister competing today?”
“My sister is.”
“Ah. I used to be here just like you, every time my brothers competed, to watch them sail. It’s fun to try what they like to do, but it’s okay if you want to try something different instead.”
“Yeah.” He’s quiet for a moment, looking down at her painting. “I think I’ll try it, and then I’ll tell my parents I want to play basketball instead.”
She nods at him, smiling. “That sounds great. You’re done.”
Fredrick twists, trying to get a better view, and then breaks into a grin. “I look like a pirate,” he tells me. “Pirates have these, you know?”
“You’re right. And now we match.”
He raises his hand to mine for a high five before he says goodbye. Lily and I watch as he runs off to join his parents, standing off to the side. Their eyes are fixed on the boats in the marina. It’s getting to be time for the race proper, and spectators line the dock.
Lily is washing her brushes, carefully avoiding my eyes. “So,” she says. “You were scared sometimes in the Navy?”
I resist the urge to groan. “That’s what you got from that?”
“Well, it’s either that or the fact that you’re great with children.”
“Hmm. Well, of course there were times that weren’t that fun.”Property of Nô)(velDr(a)ma.Org.
Lily nods. She’s close to me, and the scent of her hair, the caramel shampoo and sunshine is intoxicating. I wish I could have her next to me forever.
“You’re an amazing painter.”
“I haven’t painted in ages,” she says bluntly. “I lied when I said I had.”
I make my voice soft. “Yeah, I figured.”
“Of course you did. Oh God.” She covers her face. “Hayden, about yesterday-”
“Wait. Let me go first.”
“I can’t believe that we… that can’t happen again.”
“I know. I’m sorry about it happening like that, and I’m sorry about my reaction to Turner’s name at the dinner. You were right to be angry with me. About all of it.”
She lowers her hands, brilliant eyes staring up at me. “I still want some answers.”
“I know. And I should never have asked you to be friends again,” I say, shaking my head. “It was wrong of me, when I so clearly can’t help myself. I can’t be just friends with you, Lils.”
“I can’t be just friends with you either.”
Hope stirs in my chest. “I know this is complicated. And I should have said that right away, that what I really want is for us to do things right.”
“Things?”
“Yeah.” Damn it, I’ve never been good with words. She’s the one who used to kill me regularly with affection. “Let me take you out on a date, Lily. Let me do this properly. Give me a chance.”
Lily takes a deep breath. I know we’re standing too close, bodies nearly touching, but I don’t care if the entirety of Paradise Shores sees us right now-as long as she says yes.
This girl has had me wrapped around her finger since we were children, and it’s never been clearer to me than right now just how much I need her to be a part of my future.
“If I say yes,” she murmurs, “you have to be honest with me. Talk to me if you feel like leaving. If you want out, if you’re feeling trapped, if something’s not all right. Okay?”
“Okay. I can do that.” Communication. It’s not too big of an ask, not really.
“What would we be?”
“Whatever we want to be. It’s you and me, Lils. We’ll figure it out.”
“Okay.” She offers me a small smile, and the relief that I feel at her acceptance threatens to bring me to my knees. Thank you, God. “Why didn’t you tell me this right away? When you got back? Instead you insisted on friendship.”
Well, she wanted honesty. I glance away at the race, at the boats fighting for first place, struggling to find the words to explain myself.
“I was too afraid,” I say finally.
“Afraid?”
“Yes. I was scared to death that you would throw me out on my ass, Lily. You could take one look at me and kill me with your words.”
Her eyes soften slightly. “What did you just tell that sweet boy about courage and fear? About doing things even though you’re nervous?”
“Yes, well, he had to try sailing.”
“So?”
I lean in, close enough that I can feel her soft breath. She doesn’t back away. “I have to beg the girl of my dreams for forgiveness. I’d rather look death in the eye than be refused by you.”
Lily laughs breathlessly. “So dramatic, Hayden.”
“Only with you.”
“When?”
“When what?”