dont call me jaan
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“Jaan” Clara turned and saw full darkness around her. Her forehead filled with sweat as she started running toward the front where she could see a spot of light coming from.
“Jaan” she heard the voice a little louder and a big smile appeared on her lips as she realised that she is running in the correct direction.
“Alex” she screamed when she couldn’t find him in that dark street. Tears rolled down her cheeks when the darkness started hiding that little light too.
“Jaan” his voice didnt fade as it caused her breath to chock in her throat.
“Please. Please.” Clara mumbled continuously when the darkness slowly turned to make images and she could feel her damp clothes and damp pillow. Damn, she is sweating continuously. She looked around and found her bookshelf and cupboard. It is her room. It is her mom’s home. It is been 5 months since she left him. Still, the word held so much power and memories that eats her alive every day.
She looked at the wall with no emotions no tears. His voice kept ringing in her ears again and again. She didnt even try to close her ears as she stared at the wall with so much anger that the voice fades away by itself.
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Alex blinked to see Clara who was crying now with no gap. Does he call her Jaan, made such efforts? He doesn’t know what he should do now./
“Please. Don’t cry” He pulled her for a hug but she pushed him harshly, startling everyone in the room.
“Dare you to touch me again” she screamed.
“Jaan” He called her again as she closed her ears tightly.
“Don’t call me. Don’t call me like that.” She shouted again as she gets hysterical, scaring the shit out of everyone.
“Please. Dont” She wrapped her legs closer to her heart as tears rolled down his eyes. He can see how much she would have gone through back those days without him. Maybe this is not the right time to talk.
“I am Clara. Or Miss. Taylor for you.” She added as she sobbed silently. He wanted to console her and hug her but couldn’t do anything as he turned his head to the other end. Edward grabbed his hand to give him some mental support.
“Forever” she added as she yelled in that silent room with shaking shoulders. She just couldn’t control her emotions anymore. Alex should know the depth and should leave her alone.
Edward pressed his palm as Alex closed his eyes to release a few drops of tears. It’s damn painful to see her crying. She looked too broken when she cried.
“She is broken beyond expectation,” Alex mumbled which is audible to only Edward.
“Time has that power which we can’t even imagine. Everything will be healed and passes.” Edward replied as he side-hugged his friend.
Alina wanted to comfort her. But her ego doesn’t let her do that. Clara has hidden such a thing from her which was supposed to be known to her for sure. If she knew that her actions were the problem, she would have set it right back then. Alina bites her inner lips to control her anger but seeing Clara’s tears, she can’t hold back anymore as she pulled her into a hug and Clara’s sobs fastened with her sudden comfort.
“Sh” Alina calmed her down in seconds. Surely they both shares a unique bond. Clara doesn’t like to cry in front of anyone. And now she felt so stupid to break down in front of Alex. She wanted to show him how strong she is to move on. Why the hell does she have to cry in front of him?
“It’s okay” Alina massaged her head as Clara snuggled in her shoulders as her cries stabilised and she could breathe normally.
*******
It is 1 at night and it’s very dark everywhere. But no one could sleep. Jason’s muffles were heard everywhere. But they can’t do anything.
Clara sat straight to see everyone and her eyes fell over Alex. He was sitting beside her and he kept his hand over the wall as he was closing his eyes. But his facial expressions were clear that he is not sleeping but he is in extreme pain.
More than the pain, he seemed to shiver. Clara wanted to ignore but she felt herself checking his temperature as her eyes wide opened. He is burning. She looked around to see if anyone was awake or not. When did they sleep all of a sudden?
She stood up and left the room instantly.
“Did she find out that he has nothing inside this shell?” Edward asked, gasping loudly as he also touched his head.
“No. She might have thought that he is hurt less. So she is gone to take something more to beat him up” Jason added and burst into laughter.
“I guess he is not conscious” Alina commented when she saw Alex without any motion.
“That’s not our concern.” Edward shrugged off his shoulders as Alex threw a pillow to his side without even opening his eyes.
“Go and sleep. Don’t disturb us” Alex replied still in his closed eyes with a small blush on his face.
“Are you feeling that she is concerned for you?” Edward asked as he controlled his laughter.
“She would have reacted the same way if it were a dog” Jason added and now Edward gave a high five to him. During the whole period, Edward could feel some positive rapport with Jason for the first time.
“Can you all sleep again? She won’t feel good when you all tease like this. Let her do whatever she feels like ” Alex replied but he didn’t open his eyes as if waiting for Clara to come soon. But Edward is Edward. How can he just let this happen without any drama?
Clara entered the room with a hot water pack and a glass of turmeric milk. Maybe the old man has this only.
“Wow, everyone should have a sister like you. You already noticed that my pain is unbearable. And that’s why you got this hot pack?” Edward asked without regretting his actions. Alex didnt open his eyes but was just listening to their conversation.
“Omg, is this turmeric milk for me?” Jason asked with little tears in his eyes. Caroline and Alina controlled their laughter while Clara looked at them as if why they had to wake up.
“What are you waiting for?” Alina asked, snapping Clara from her thoughts.
“Wait a minute, did you bring this for someone else?” Jason asked directly allowing her to open up her eyes.
“Just give them.” Alex voiced out as she widened her eyes at him. Is he conscious? Was he waiting for her to try to help him?
“Can you just sit here instead?” He asked and he didnt even want for her reply as he kept his head over her lap, still in his closed eyes. Edward and Jason smiled at him. Clara didnt want to reply to them or deny Alex. She just says there rigidly.
She looked at him with so many questions. The man lying over her lap was the only one who had her heart. She can never imagine anyone beside him. But the pain and separation did a major part in her transformation. She knew that she can never be the same innocent bubbly girl ever. She was hurt beyond repair and the reason is the same person over her lap.
But why can’t she just sit back when he is in pain? Isn’t it what she wanted till now? She always imagined herself giving the most hurtful sarcastic reply when Alex comes to know the truth and apologise to her.
But when the time came, she became numb. She couldn’t hurt him. Instead, his tears made her well up automatically. Does her heart beat for him even now? Of course, she knew the answer but she doesn’t want to acknowledge it.
Anyone would call her an idiot to just let go of her happiness to hug her pain. But she knew that it is the best for both. As she said, relationships once broken are always messed up.
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“I know that you are tired. But sleeping on an empty stomach is not good ” The old man gave them coffee with some biscuits. As far as they are thankful, they wanted to at least scoff in front of the man. Who would wake up at 6 in the morning? That too on Sunday?
“Thank you so much, uncle.” Clara greeted him with a smile as she took the tray to serve them to all.
“Dear” everyone turned to the entrance to see Mira who was crying as she came to hug Alex.
“Are you fine?” She asked as she hugged him in front of all. Clara rolled her eyes at the scene.
“Relax, Mira. I am fine” Alex slowly releases himself from her clutch as he was continually checking Clara’s expressions. He doesn’t want to make any more mistakes.
“She must be so scared. After all who can imagine the concern of a wife?” Someone commented. Clara gritted her teeth and glared at Alex while he had no clue what they told.
“Uncle was also very scared. I had a difficult time consoling him and finally, he gets relieved when I told him that I would pick you all up” Mira is in full form to woo everyone. Alex looked at Clara all the while and sighed. Why does she hate Mira so much? Of course, no girl would like the one who loves her husband. But Mira is not someone who would plot against them. Why can’t she see that?