Chapter 56: It Still Hurts
I was left astounded at that action coming from Desmond, wide-eyed. I received jolts of sparks flowing in my skin when he cupped my cheek and deepened the kiss.
His tongue sought entrance inside my mouth, asking for an invitation. I clung to his neck, wanting him more as we were both entangled with each other.
I questioned how I ended up in this situation again. Why was I inside Desmond’s arms and I was allowing him to smash his lips in mine?
And how dare I respond back to him? When did I even do that?
Why did his lips feel so right with mine?
Desmond slowly parted. I slowly peeled my eyes open, following his lips again. But when I heard a soft warning growl coming from him.
“Our son is here, seraphim…” he whispered near to my ear, leaving wet kisses.
His words felt like a bucket of ice threw me. I pushed him away from me and immediately looked at Sander who was covering his ears, still turning his back on us.
I mindlessly touched my wet lips, looking at Desmond with an unbelievable expression. But his lips curled up into a smirk. I gulped when he licked his upper lip as if he was hinting that he wanted more.
“S-Sander, come here…” I panicked and made Sander turn around.
“Is it done?” He blinked, slightly tilting his head.
“Yes, son. Mama already kissed me.” Desmond spoke first before me. I saw him winking at Sander.
“So, this is a scheme?” I parroted, exchanging glances at both of them.
“No, of course not.”
“Yes, Mama!”
I glared at Desmond when both of them answered differently. They were caught now that this was part of his scheme.
“You plan this, do you?” I almost growled, feeling embarrassed since I kissed him back. My swollen lips could still feel his lips on mine.
That ghostly feeling made me feel ticklish…
Desmond looked alarmed. “N-Not me!” he exclaimed, panicking.
“Liar…” I said through gritted teeth.
This made me feel sick all of a sudden… I should have known Desmond was up to something. He was trying to manipulate things again here. It looks like he really was truthful in his words that he was going to coax me again.
“S-Seraphina… Believe me…” He looked frightened now when he saw my face darken.
“I planned it, Mama!” Sander raised his hand.
I gasped, looking at Sander in disbelief. “Why?” That was the first word that came out of my mouth. I couldn’t believe my son would do this to me.
Sander smiled as he took my hand and his father’s hand. “Because I can tell that no matter what happens in the past, you still love each other,” he stated as he made our hands clasped together.
I inhaled sharply when I felt shudders crawl to my skin. Desmond also had the same reaction as me.
I stared at him, especially in his gorgeous amber eyes. I don’t believe that I still love him.
“Let’s just eat…” I said and yanked back my hand. “Halt your silliness there, Sander. Have a seat.”
I had to divert my attention before my emotions would get the better of me. I hated if I would ruin this picnic Desmond and I prepared for our son.
“What are you still doing there?” I arched my eyebrow at Desmond who was still standing. “Have a seat, too.” I gulped when I realized that he had been staring at me for too long.
“Yeah…” He coerced a smile, nodding. He removed his shoes so he could sit across from me.
Sander didn’t hesitate to shit in his father’s lap as they started to eat their food. Somehow, I felt left out when they were getting along now.
Yesterday, Sander almost hated his father. He almost didn’t want to speak with him because he saw my state. He wasn’t happy that I was crying if it was all about his father.
He was willing to ruin his relationship with him and be with me but it was a good thing that I talked with him so his mind changed. I made him realize that it was still vital that he reconcile his relationship with his father.
“Papa, I can’t mindlink Mama,” Sander said while we were in the middle of our meal.
Desmond’s gaze softened. “Mama needs to undergo the ceremony, Sander. She also needs to perform the Luna ceremony as well.”
I was about to retort back when Sander glanced at me, smiling. “But if Mama doesn’t want a ceremony then I can communicate with her through speaking.”
That earned me silence. Sander understood that I never wanted to be part of the Rising Diamond pack.
“Uh… Yes… That will do.” Desmond didn’t look happy at our son’s words. It was obvious that he didn’t like the answer.
I distracted Sander. “After this, you can try swimming in the lake.”
He gasped. “Really, Mama?” I nodded. “Yes!” He looked happy as he finished his food before he immediately transformed into his wolf form.
Desmond was surprised to see our son’s wolf form. “Oh! Will you look at that?” he said, grinning. He lifted Sander’s pup form. “This is surprising that you are early to transform into your wolf form, Sander!”
I creased my forehead in perplexity. “I thought it is normal that a pup with Alpha blood can transform to his wolf form early?”
Sander barked, struggling from Desmond’s hold. But he only grinned and held him tighter. “Hold still, son,” he teased and glanced at me. “Just like any other normal werewolves, pups with Lycan blood and Alpha blood can transform to their wolf form when they reach 18 years of age. In a rare case, one can transform to their wolf form before 18 just like our son, seraphim!” He smiled brightly as he tickled Sander’s wolf.
“I see. I understand now,” I said, nodding.
I couldn’t help the smile drawn out to my lips when Sander transformed back into his human form.
“Papa… Please stop…” Sander said while giggling. He managed to get away from his father when he returned to his wolf form and ran towards the lake.
“He really has the potential as an Alpha…” Desmond said, nodding. He was saying not to me but it looked like he was talking to himself. Then his eyes darted toward me when he must have felt that I was looking at him.
I looked away when I couldn’t handle his stare. It really was so awkward whenever we were the ones here. I could have wished that Sander hadn’t left yet. My son was the only one who could lift up this awkward mood here.
My heart flipped when Desmond drew closer. I immediately flinched when his hand was raised, expecting that he would hurt me.
He looked surprised at my sudden jolt. But what surprised me was he was holding the yellow water lily flower he bestowed on me earlier. I set that aside when we were eating.
“I… I just want to put this behind your ear.”
My wolf squirmed as she was urging me to allow Desmond. “A-Alright…” I said, hesitant.
It was not bad if I sometimes allowed myself not to engage with him in a chaotic situation, right?
Desmond settled beside me so he could put the water lily flower behind my ear. I couldn’t help but look at him and got a quick sniff at the familiar perfume he was wearing.
“That perfume…” I started.
“Hmm?” Desmond blinked. His amber eyes were scrutinizing my face, making my heart trouble all of a sudden.
“Why are you still wearing it despite it not being your favorite?”
There, I said it. I already noticed it beforehand. That perfume has a hint of floral scent which was why I chose it for him. Desmond wasn’t fond of perfume that has a floral scent. His cup of tea was musky.
What made it more alluring was his scent that I recognized him as my mate. It mixed with the perfume he was wearing so he smelled exotic and beguiling.
My breath hitched when his fingers grazed behind my ear before he gathered a few strands of my golden lock hair so he could twirl them to his fingers.
“Because you chose this for me, Seraphina.” That made my heart stop when he stared at me. “Ever since you left, I have never changed my perfume.” He drew closer so he could brush the strands to his nose, sniffing it softly. “I cherished every moment with you. All the memories we have before and after we married, I shall never forget.”
I smiled bitterly, not wanting to believe him. I never wanted to have a conversation with him yet here I was… I was trapped with him again.
And the way he was staring at me… Why was he looking at me so lovingly?Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.
“Why are you not hating me after what I have done?” I asked. Even if it was his fault why I left, I wanted to know if Desmond ever once hated me from the moment I tore our mate bond.
Desmond placed his forehead on my shoulder which shocked me. “I know that you were not just going to abscond and break our mate bond for no apparent reason. That is not the Seraphina I know…” he said meekly. “But it still fucking hurts just by remembering how you could utter such words to reject me even if we were already married for five years…”
I clenched my hands when he said that because it was his fault that I made that move. I almost pushed him away if only I didn’t realize that Sander was waving his hand at us. I coerced a smile and nodded my head at him so he could continue playing in the water.
“And until now… It still hurts even if our mate bond has reconnected.”
I scoffed. “It was your fault…” I bit my lower lip when my voice croaked. The memories of the past suddenly slapped me.
The courtesan he slept with… accidentally.
And Hazel… He allowed himself to be kissed by her and… slept with her.
I knew by that time Desmond fucked Hazel. I heard it in his fucking study room. I heard how Hazel moaned his name. It broke my heart as soon as I witnessed that.
I felt like dying by that time. The betrayal he had done… It was freaking painful. I wished I killed myself back then.
I never knew that Desmond could really resort to that.
He was in his sanity… He made a decision that just so he wanted her to be a surrogate mother.
Without consulting me!
It was as if… “You killed me by that time… you fucking bastard.” The hatred I felt… It was starting to rise again.
“Yes…” he muttered. “I know…”
My lips were quivering. He admitted it. He finally admitted his infidelity.
It hurts that I finally got to hear it. The time has come that I finally heard it. I deserve it because it came from him.
“Do not expect that I will reconcile with you. Never, Desmond. You know that you do not have any second chances.”
He fell silent. The silence that was enveloping us was too painful to bear. I looked up at the blue sky to avoid shedding tears.
I must avoid it as much as possible. Desmond and Sander had just reconciled so I must not create a misunderstanding again.
Even so, my heart was being pricked right now. I wanted to be buried six feet below the ground right at this moment.
Desmond… You were the man I once loved. You were my weakness and strength.
You were my cinnamon.
It was the reason why he was the spice of my life.
“Let me love you silently, Seraphina,” Desmond spoke after a long moment of silence, not replying to what I said a while ago. “Even if you don’t love me anymore, please, allow me to love you silently.”
With his pleading tone, I knew that I couldn’t say no. But I couldn’t even utter it. My mouth was sealed.
“If you do not allow me, I feel like my sanity is gradually slipping away from me. Please…” I gasped when he hugged me. “Please… I beg you, seraphim. Let me love you silently…”