Holding on to you

I was taken aback by the name until I remembered that Killian didn’t give the hospital my real name because he was afraid that if his enemies found out that I was in a helpless state they’d use that opportunity to eliminate me. Although, why he chose the name Ruby was beyond me, the guy was way too obsessed with the colour red.

I took the hand Dr Brooks offered me and shook it, the smile on her face warm and reassuring.

“Yes, I’m Ruby, it’s nice to meet you, Dr Brooks.”

She looked past me as if expecting someone.

“I was told that you were coming with your husband, is he not going to be joining us anymore?”

I smiled, “Definitely, he’s just going to park the car and then he’ll be right up.”

She nodded then offered me a seat. I sat down and give the room a once over, it was very welcoming and cosy. It wasn’t awfully big, but it wasn’t small either, it was simple with a chalk black sofa that was up against one wall, that was the one I was sitting on. There was a door that leading out onto a balcony right behind the oval table and next to in was a built-in fireplace.

Across from where I was sitting was a black leather chair that Dr Brooks sat on and a slim wooden café table in the middle, separating us.

“So, Ruby, if you don’t mind me asking, how old are you, you look a little too young to be married?”

I never get tired of hearing that. Wrong! I hated it! When people hear I’m married, they either assume I’m pregnant or decided that I’m a gold digger who trapped poor Killian. Idiots!

Needless to say, I couldn’t really blame the good doctor for asking now, could I?

“It’s no problem, I don’t mind at all. I’m eighteen.”

She nodded, her smile still in place, but she grabbed her notepad and scribbled something on it. I wanted to ask her what it was that she was writing, but I held my tongue back, I came to her for help after all and it was her job to scribble things in her shrink book.

“So,” she said, looking up from her book. “We’ll wait until your husband is here before we begin, but in the meantime why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself?”

I knew that wasn’t a hard question, but at the moment, I felt like I didn’t know the answer. I shifted in my seat, not knowing what to say.

“Um, what would you like to know?”

She smiled reassuringly, sensing my nervousness.

“Let’s start with something easy, how did you meet your husband?”

I stared at her, well if that wasn’t a loaded question. Her definition and my definition of easy were completely different. I knew I had to tell her something, but I also knew that it couldn’t be the truth.

It’s not like I can very well say, ‘well doctor, I sold my virginity to the most dangerous guy in school for my brother’s protection, and then he basically forced me to marry him, but it’s okay now because I fell stupidly in love with him.’

Yeah, I don’t think that that would go down too well with the good doctor. She’d probably have me committed to the nearest psych ward, and then that would be even crazier because Killian would take down everyone in his way in order to get back his precious, ‘Red’. So, I decided to tell her parts of the truth.

“We go to the same school, we ran in different circles but I needed help with something one day and he was the only one that could do it.”

She smiled again, scribbling away in her little book.

“And your parents, are they happy about you being married at such a young age?”

Now how do I answer that?

“No, not really, but they love me and accepted my choice.”

Like hell, they did.

My parents would snatch me the first change the got, but the good doctor didn’t need to know that bit.

“Okay, how does that make you feel? Your parents must have been a little hurt, you’re only eighteen, a baby in their eyes, with your entire life ahead of you. How do you think they must have felt? Do you think that they felt like you chose him over them?”

What the hell is with this woman and her loaded questions? Why can’t she ask a simple question, like ‘what is your favourite colour?’ I was so thrown by her questions that I stuttered.

“I-I um, I-I… I don’t know.”

I don’t choose Killian over my family, did I?

The realisation that I did do exactly that dawned on me, and I felt tears prickled at my eyes.

“Oh my god!”

I know that my parents kept things from me that hurt me, and completely shattered my trust in them, but they’re still my parents and I did love them. Maybe instead of pushing them away when I was in hospital the first time, I should have taken the time to talk to them, explained how I felt, but instead, I pushed them away and chose Killian over them.

The doctor handed me a tissue and I wiped my eyes with it.

“It’s ok, Ruby, I didn’t mean to make you cry, but this is a good thing, it means that you’re willing to open up and let this therapy help you. Some people take weeks or months before they even reveal this much of themselves to m―.”

“Why the f**k are you crying?!”

The door was opened up to reveal a very much pissed off Killian. Dr Brooks turned at the sound of his voice and gasped, she stood so quickly, her book and pen fell to the floor. Her eyes were wide with shock as she stared at Killian.

A flicker of recognition passed over his features before he schooled it and walked over to me. The good doctor watched confusion and fear on her face.

Killian stooped in front of me, he took my hands in his and caressed them in a calming motion. The tissue was removed from my hand and he took it and wiped my eyes.

“Shh, just tell me what it is and I’ll fix it.”

His words were so tender, but then he turned and glared at the doctor,

“Or kill it.”

She gasped again, taking a step back. Her eyes going wildly between us and the door that was still open. Killian followed her eyes then got up and walked over to the door, he closed it then turned the lock in place.

I didn’t know what was going on, but his behaviour was scaring me. I got up from the sofa and walked over to him, I wanted to know what the hell was going on.

“Why are you acting like this, she didn’t do anything to me?”

He ignored my question and continued to glare at the doctor who was looking between the two of us.

“Killian.”

That got my attention, she knew him. Now I was the confused one, something clear when down between them and I dreaded the answer. If he told me that they slept together I just might throw up.

“Do you two know each other?”

Killian tore his eyes away from her to smile at me but turned back to stare deadly daggers at her.

“Red, I’d like you to meet the bitch that is responsible for bringing Natasha into the world.”

My brows almost touched the ceiling, no freaking way!

“You’re Natasha’s mother?”

She didn’t answer me, she looked between me and Killian, then her eyes widen evermore.

“Red? As in Lilly?”

This shit was seriously getting creepy.

Killian smirked, his hand slipped around my waist, tugging me closer to his side. I watched the good doctor as she moved back a little, she was suddenly more afraid.

“One and the same. You didn’t think that your little stunt that you pulled, would have stopped me from making her mine, did you?”

Ok, hold up, now I felt like I was dropped into an alternate universe where I knew the people I’m with but then I didn’t.

“Killian, what are you talking about, what the hell is going on?”

The doctor looked at me with what I discerned as pity and concern. Why the hell would she look at me like that?

Ok, I’ve had enough.

“What the hell is going on?!”

I repeated my question a little louder.

Dr Brooks opened her mouth then closed it again. She looked like she was afraid to say something that would upset Killian.

“Baby, I met the doctor when I was sixteen, had to spend a few months with her because of a crime I committed. I made a mistake and told her about you, and she tried to use that against me to stop me from f**king her daughter. Not that it worked.”

Killian smirked when the doctor’s shock turned to anger.

“You corrupted my daughter, you made her into the person that she is today. She was sweet and innocent before you came into her life!”

Killian snorted, “Natasha was anything but sweet and innocent.”

“I saw what you did to her!!”

The doctor shouted causing me to jump back but Killian wasn’t at all fazed by her behaviour.

What the hell?

“Lady, you caught me f**king her daughter just the way she liked it, hot, dirty and with a lot of pain.”

Ok, I think I threw up a little in my mouth.

The doctor took a step closer, her eyes moved to me. She had this frantic, insane look in her eyes.Property of Nô)(velDr(a)ma.Org.

“You seem like a good girl, you should get away from him while you can, you don’t know the things he’s done.”

Her eyes moved from mine to his, hatred boiling in them

“He’s not a good person.”

Killian laughed, but it was humourless.

“What, you hope to frighten her? Not gonna happen, she knows exactly who and what I am and what I’m capable of.”

The doctor was very determined; she still intended on make me hate Killian just like she did.

“You might think you know him, but you don’t. You don’t know the disgusting things I caught him doing to my daughter, the vile bruises on her body left by his hands. He’s evil!”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, I felt like looking away because I didn’t want her to see that I knew exactly what she was talking about. But I didn’t even get to keep my secret because Killian started speaking. A cunning smirk on his face.

“Oh, she knows.”

The doctor looked at me shocked, and I squirmed, involuntary tugging at my top to hide the bruise that wasn’t quite healed as yet.

But I knew I didn’t quite succeed when she eyed the spot where my hand was. Her look turning into one of horror.

“Oh my god, you poor thing.”

I looked away from her face, I felt guilty because I knew that deep down she thought that Killian was hurting me, and in a way she was right, but what she didn’t know was that I actually… liked it.

“Don’t feel sorry for her, Grace, it’s yourself you should worry about.”

I pulled away from Killian and stepped between him and the doctor when I saw him pulled out his gun.

His eyes shifted to me with a glare before he moved them back to the doctor.

“Get the f**k out of the way, Lilly, haven’t you learned that it doesn’t serve to jump in front of a weapon?”

I put my hands on my hips and glared right back at him.

“I’m not going to let you kill her.”

He smiled.

“Oh, I have no intention of killing her, just putting a few holes in her that will hurt really, really bad.”

I stood my ground.

“No Killian, you don’t have to solve all of your problems with violence.”

He snorted, “Watch me.”

I was getting really tired of his bullshit.

“What couldn’t she possibly have done to make you so angry?”

“She tried to keep take you away from me, this bitch tried to kill you when you were sixteen!”

What?!

That made me move, I suddenly didn’t want my back to be to the doctor, I stepped closer to Killian and he pulled me into him with his free hand.

“Why would you try to kill me?” I asked the doctor, feeling shaken.

Her voice was laced with hatred, “I wanted him to feel how it felt to lose the only thing he loved.”

“I didn’t kill your f**king daughter!” Killian’s voiced boomed.

“You might as well have, because of you, she stopped talking to me, I lost my baby girl, it was only fair that you feel what I felt. Your family thinks they are untouchable, but I knew your weakness and I would have succeeded if you weren’t so paranoid and had her heavily guarded.”

Killian’s hand tightened on me, I didn’t know how I felt about the entire situation, it was all so surreal to me. While I was living in Lala land at sixteen, people were guarding me, from people who were trying to kill me.

However, whatever the doctor tried to do, I didn’t think that she deserved whatever Killian had planned for her.

“Baby, let’s just go, she’s not worth it.”

I thought he would have hesitated but he dropped the gun, grabbed my hand and walked out of the office.

I guess that meant that our session was over for good.