Holding on to you

Ms Appleby walked back into the classroom, announcing that although we might be graduating soon, it doesn’t mean that we should slack about with our school work. Not long after the bell rang, signalling the lunch period and everyone walked out, including Ashley and my ponytail.

I sat there thinking of ways to hide my hair as long as possible from Killian but none was coming to me.

“You look scared, anything I can do to help?”

Penelope, one of the girls who usually sit in the back, asked as she took the seat next to me. I turned to offer a smile but ending up grimacing when the bite on my lips stung. She went into her bag and offered me a tissue.

“Your lips are swollen and bleeding.”

I took it and told her, thank you, then I gently dabbed at the cut, hissing from the pain and cursing Ashley at the same time.Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.

“So, you need any help?” She asked again.

I shook my head and continued dabbing at my lips when it seemed like that blood wasn’t stopping.

“Not unless you can come up with a way for me to hide my hair for the rest of the day from my crazy hu―I mean boyfriend.”

She smiled at me knowingly, catching my slip but decided not to confront me about it.

“Actually, I think I might know a way that you can hide it.”

I stopped dabbing, “Please tell me you’re serious?” I asked, feeling excitement and relief.

She got up from her seat and pulled the hairband from her hair, causing her bright blue hair to fall about her face. Standing behind me, she grabbed my hair up and proceeded to work her magic. When she was done she handed me a mirror. I smiled looking at the high bun she put my hair in, I don’t know what she did, but the bun was so fluffed up you’d think that I had a ton of hair on my head.

“Oh my god, you just probably save someone life!”

She laughed, grabbing her bag up she said, “It’s always good to save a life.” Then she left before I could invite her to sit with me for lunch.

I picked my bag up too and hurried out of the classroom, I knew that it wouldn’t be long before Killian came looking for me, and as much as I didn’t want to see him, I knew I had no choice.

The scene from the day before that happened between us kept playing in my head. I got so angry thinking about it that I almost want to piss him off with my ruined hair.

Flashback

I walked into the rec room, feeling frustrated and pissed off, Killian was sitting on one of the leather couch watching a documentary about freaking cars! I stomped my feet as I got closer and he turned to glare at me for disturbing him, but I didn’t care.

I stomped my feet harder and he switched his show off, turning to give me a hard look.

“What?! What the hell do you want? Are you looking to get f**ked? If you are, just tell me so that we can get it over with if not get the f**k out so that I can watch my show in peace.”

I frowned, clearly not believing the words that just spilled out of his mouth. I was finding it hard to comprehend the way he was talking to me. Why the hell was he mad at me, all I did was tell him that I was tired of having to see his ex-whores every day, and to please take me somewhere I don’t have to worry about getting rape or finding one of his ex-whore pressed up against him.

Is that too much to ask?!

“Why are you acting this way? I should be the one that is pissed off, you don’t have to worry about running into my ex every day.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, he jumped up and got right up in my face. It happened so suddenly that I stumbled back, coming up against the wall.

“What the f**k do you want from me, Lilly?! I told you we’re staying and that’s final, stop f**king pushing me before I do something I might regret!!”

My anger bubbled up inside of me, who the hell does he think he is? Does he think he’s the only one who can get mad? I put my hands flat against his chest and pushed, I barely moved him but I didn’t care, it was satisfying just pushing him.

“I shouldn’t have to live like this, Killian! I shouldn’t have to worry about finding your ex in my bedroom, or naked in the pool while you’re in it! If you love me… if you love me, you’ll move me away from this place and them.”

He knocked my hands away from his chest then threw his head back and laughed, but it was void of humour. When he looked back at me all that was in his eyes were rage and undisguised anger.

“Is that what you think, that I f**king love you?! I. DON’T. F**KING. LOVE. YOU!”

I winced from the harshness of his words, and I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing any more than I could have stopped my stupid heart from feeling shattered.

He continued, killing me with his hurtful words.

“Stop trying to invent feelings that are just not there, the only thing I love is f**king you! The only reason I want you so f**king bad is because I can’t seem to get you out of my system. I love to control you; I love to see that look in your eyes when I own your body. I love the fact that although you know that I’ll never be able to f**king love you, you’ll never be able to stop loving me.”

He leaned in close so that his lips were almost touching mine.

“I love all of those things, but what I don’t love is you. I’m obsessed with you and too much of a selfish bastard to let you go and find this love that you crave so much.”

His words washed over me, and I couldn’t even begin to explain the emotions that were swirling around in my head. I drop my eyes from him, not wanting him to see the utter hopelessness in mine.

I was about to accept defeat and walk away, I didn’t want to be in the same room with him, hell, I didn’t even want to be on the same planet as him, but I settled for different rooms. However, when I tried to move he blocked my path, I lifted my eyes, giving him a confused look, but when I looked up his lips came down on mine.

At first, I just stood there shocked, but then I remembered what he just said to me and I started to push him away from me. He moved back, but only to glare at me, but I was too pissed to heed the warning.

“No! No, you don’t get to have sex with me after what you just said, I’m not a toy, Killian! I have feelings and they hurt when you say f**ked up things like that.”

Instead of answering me, he walked away, heading right for the door, but instead of going through it, he closed it and turned the lock. When he turned back to face me, the look on his face scared me half to death and I tried to run, wanting to get away from him, but he caught me before I could get too far.

He didn’t say anything, just started kissing me and roughly grabbing at my clothes. I knew that it was no use fighting him, so I let give up and let him be the cold-hearted bastard that he is.

My feel doesn’t matter anyway, it never did.

Flashback end

“Cute hairstyle.”

Jessy broke my thoughts, and almost scared me shitless, I placed my hands over my heart to stop it from jumping out of my chest.

“Jesus, Jessy are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

She laughed like I was being funny, “You’re so melodramatic.”

I ignored her and we made our way into the cafeteria, she left to go get her lunch and I scan the room for Killian. I saw him sitting at one of our usual tables with Kinsley, and I was half tempted to go sit somewhere else but thought better of it.

I didn’t bother getting lunch because I knew that Killian had everything waiting for me. I slowly made my way over to him, on the way I passed Ashley and his boy band, who just couldn’t let matters rest.

“Hey, Lilly, how’s the new hair cut working out for you?”

I rolled my eyes and continued walking even as they started laughing with everyone around them. When I finally got to the table, Killian pushed the lunch tray in front of me and I took it.

“What did those assholes want?”

I kept my head down as I spoke, fearing that he might see the truth in my eyes, and the evidence on my lips.

“They’re just being idiots, it’s nothing serious.”

Try as I might, I just couldn’t get Killian to drop the subject. We were sitting across from each other and I could feel his eyes burning holes into me. I pretended to ignore him, squirming in my seat when it started feeling like I was on fire.

“What the hell did they say to you, Red?!”

His ‘I always have to get my own way’ behaviour started pissing me off. Pushing the lunch tray away I looked up to glare at him, my fist clenched in my lap to stop from hitting something.

“God! Can’t you just leave well enough alone for once?!”

Kinsley dropped the fry she was holding, her eyes widen and mouth gaping as she stared at me. Jessy, who had just walked up to the table, quietly took a seat next to Kinsley, looking between me and Killian.

Killian glared at me, his eyes getting dark and stormy, but then the strangest thing happened and his eyes softened and he frowned.

“Baby, come here.”

Oh, so we’re back to calling each other baby? Bipolar much?

He leaned forward, signalling for me to come closer and because I’m so used to obeying him, I leaned my body across the table. His hand cupped my face and he used his thumb to gently caress my bruised and swollen lips.

Realising my mistake, I quickly pull back and try to play it down, I grabbed the tray, pulling it back to me and began stuffing food into my mouth. I felt his eyes on me, causing my stomach to flip, but I didn’t dare lookup. As I swallowed the tasteless salad, Killian grabbed hold of my chin, tilting it up.

“What happened to your lips, baby?”

I couldn’t look in his eyes, I was so afraid he’d see the truth, and as much as I’d like for Ashley to get his ass kicked, I didn’t think he deserved whatever Killian would do to him if he found out that he kissed me.

“I-I um, I… it just…”

I was stuttering like an idiot, but if Killian noticed he didn’t say anything, instead, he continued to caress my lips.

“Does it hurt?”

I nodded like a star-struck idiot, and when I realised what I was doing I tried to play it off as nothing.

“No, I mean, it’s fine, it’s nothing.”

I offered him a nervous smile, hoping he was buying whatever it was that I was selling. I must have done something right because he leaned more across the table and placed two light pecks on my lips.

I was so stunned, that I just stared at him. Whatever that was all about it seemed like all was forgiven between us and he was back to treating me like I meant something to him.

However, we all know that nothing good last for long, and what transpired after Killian’s tender display of affection, made me want to kill Murphy and that stupid law that he invented.

Just as Killian pulled back and offered me a smile, Greg Lindon and Susie Bishop, members of Ashley’s boy band staggered over to our table. I immediately tensed up when I saw them approaching, I prayed for them to just walk on by, but I had no such luck.

Greg had his arm thrown around Susie’s shoulders, both their faces had this smug look, and I pleaded with my eyes from them to walk away, but the idiots just kept on coming.

When they finally got to our table, Killian glared at them, but I guess they were feeling high from whatever they intended to do because they literally ignored him, I mean, nobody ignores Killian… ever!

“Omg, Lilly, you should really put some ice on that, it kinda looks infected.”

I cringe, hearing Susie’s annoying screeching voice, it was like listening to nails scraping on a board. I tried to ignore her and her dumbass boyfriend, but stupid people never could take a hint. They just continued talking, digging the grave that Killian was sure to bury them in.

“Babe, I think she’s still a little overwhelmed from that mind-blowing kiss she and Ash shared, she’s not in a hurry to remove his mark quite yet.” Greg chuckled.

I closed my eyes and whispered, “idiots” when the words left his mouth. I heard Killian’s low growl and prayed that the no brain fools would run for their lives, but they weren’t done digging their own graves.

“You’re right, baby, she did look like she was enjoying it, obviously, she has some kinda secretly crush on Ash.”

Yep, that made me throw up in my mouth a bit and pissed me off at the same time. I had enough of twiddle dee and twiddle dumb, I raised my head and glared at them.

“Omg Susie, how could I hide my secret from you? Tell me, how did you ever find out? Is it the way I constantly ignore him, or the fact that I’ve never spoken a word to him before today? No, it definitely has to be the way I spent all my this with this mean angry-looking guy over here. That’s it, that’s how you found out I have a crush on your shit for brains friend.”

They both looked at me like I’ve gone mad and I continued.

“I’ve got another secret for you, Susie,” I whispered loudly, “I’m not into boy bands, and I’m definitely not cut out to be a groupie and in case it has escaped your little tiny pea brain, I’m sleeping with the devil and he doesn’t share.”

The look on their faces was epic, I left them speechless, I’m not usually a person who talks back or defend myself, I normally just let people talk and ignore, but after everything, I felt like I’ve been quiet too long.

I thought that they were going to say something else, but instead, they thought better of it and walked away, or so I thought.

They only got like halfway back to their table when the turned back. I turned to look at Killian and his eyes had that glazed over look, and I could tell that he was trying really, really bad to control his anger.

“He kissed you?!” He ground out through gritted teeth.

Just as I was about to answer, about eighteen inches of red hair was dropped on the table in front of me. My eyes widen when I saw it, it was still plated, just the way it was cut from my head.

“I think you dropped something.”

I didn’t even look up to acknowledge Greg and Susie, who walked off again, only this time they were laughing.

“Oh my god, Lilly is that your hair?” Kinsley asked, but even her I did acknowledge.

My eyes were solely for the fire-breathing dragon that was sitting across from me, who I swear was puffing smoke through his nose and ears. He leaned forward without saying a word, and undid my hair from the bun, letting my now short hair fall around my face.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, wishing that someone would wake me up from the bad dream I was having. My heart starting beating like it know shit was about to go down.

Killian slowly got up from the table, he gave me one long hard look, focusing on my bruised lips and ruined hair, then he turned at stalked over to Ashley’s table.

I didn’t wait for him to start a commotion, I jumped from my seat, following him. Ashley and his boy band looked up when they saw him, a satisfied smirk on his too-pale face.

“What can I do you for, bro?”

Killian tensed up, but no one seemed to notice it. “I already know you kissed her, now I want to know which one of you motherf**kers cut her hair?”

Killian looked around the table, he was acting calm and cool like it wasn’t a big deal, he just wanted to be informed. Ashley, oblivious to the trap that Killian was setting, started chuckling.

“That would be me again, just thought I’d teach the bitch a lesson, you know, us bros have to stick together, can’t have these bitches stepping out of line, you get me?”

Everyone at the table started laughing with him, even the girls, I was so insulted and outrage by their obvious disrespect for themselves, that I wanted to head-butt them. Killian on the other hand wasn’t concerning himself with them, his eyes were focused on Ashley.

“Sure thing, ‘bro’ I get you.”

His hand reached out and pulled me to his side, all trace of his calm and cool persona gone and in its place was the Killian I knew and loved.

“Now I need you to get me,”

He lifted my hand that sported my wedding rings and shoved it in Ashley’s face, causing him to jump back.

“Do you see these rings adorning her beautiful hands, it means she’s not just some random chick, it means she’s mine and off-limits.”

Killian dropped my hands, “I don’t give a f**k if you want to teach the bitches you surround yourself with a lesson, but the moment you touched my wife, you forfeited your life. The moment you decided that is was okay to kiss my woman, you signed away all your right to live!”

Ashley stood and puffed up his chest, he wanted to show his boy band that he was a capable leader, I just thought that he’s speeding up his end.

“Hey bro, you married the slut? Not my fault you pick one that can’t keep her cookie jar close, look I’m sor―”

The word never left Ashley’s mouth because Killian grabbed him by the hair and bashed his head against the table four times. With every bang the table became a bloody mess, I was sickened by it, and I used my hands to cover the horrifying scream that escaped me.

Teachers and other school staff rushed over and tried to pry Killian away from Ashley, but it was useless, Killian intended to cause damage that’s exactly what he was doing.

After totally rearranging Ashley’s face, they managed to get Killian away from him, but then Ashley did something stupid, instead of staying down and playing dead like any sane person would do. He pulled out the pocket knife he used to cut my hair and came at Killian with it.

Killian managed to push the two teachers off of him just in time to capture Ashley’s hand, he twisted the hand with the knife in it and I heard bones snapping and Ashley’s high pitch scream.

Taking the knife from him, Killian put his arm around his neck and held him in place. He then took the knife and placed it right where Ashley’s hairline begins, sinking the sharp object down, he proceeded to take the hair as well as skin away from Ashley’s head. The torturous, pain-filled screams that erupted from Ashley cause my inside to turn, and I had to look away from the gruesome scene.

When I turned back it was to see Killian putting the bloody knife to Ashley’s throat, and I screamed.

“No, Killian!!”

I couldn’t believe what he was about to do. He looked at me, but I could see that he wasn’t really seeing me, the knife digging deeper into Ashley’s throat.

“If you do this in from of all these witnesses, you’ll surely go to jail, and when you’re in there, they will be no one to protect me, I’ll be without you. Please don’t let me have to live without you.”

He growled, the vein at his temple throbbing as he fought with his need to kill Ashley and his need to be with me, but in the end, he dropped Ashley. Grabbing my hand, we headed out of the cafeteria, with Kinsley and Jessy following along, and my ponytail securely tucked away in Jessy’s bag.