Chapter 219
Angel
For days, my mind had been like a battlefield, everything was so messed up and I had no idea what to do. I wasn’t allowed to see Thea because she couldn’t stand being in the same room with me.
I missed her, I wanted to be with her so bad but I fucked things up.
Everyone had left me alone to dine with my guilt and regret, I needed some time alone but today Cassie barged into my office and gave me a piece of her mind. I had nothing to say because I deserved everything I got. I had been in denial all these while but Cassie was right, even if Thea betrayed me, was she to be blamed for wanting her freedom? Even if she played with my heart, it didn’t mean I had the right to keep her hostage. This wasn’t how our cartel worked. Saving someone and keeping them hostage just for our sexual pleasure.
I was and I’m still obsessed with Thea. The only difference was that at first it was an obsession of lust but now it was for love.
I felt like a disappointment to both my late step-dad and my mother. They’d never approve of the things I did and not to think that my stepdad had saved Florentine from her abusive husband, gave her a life and made her the clinic’s second head. He didn’t use her for something disrespectful yet I did that to Thea who was supposed to be my step-sister. In a way, I could say I abused her and that very fact made me feel undeserving of her.
My guilt was eating me up so I decided to visit my mum again. This was something Cassie and I always did on our own without anyone having to know. We’d go visit my mum at least twice a week at our own time and spend some time with her. All I prayed for was for a miracle to happen one day and that she came back to us.
I took one of my cars and drove down to the hospital. I went up to the VIP floor and soon I was in the room sitting next to my mum who had been lying in such state for years. It broke my heart everytime to see her that way.
“Your sister was just here.” Eric, the doctor in charge told me.
“I see….” I said. She had probably felt the need to come here. She was 19 and despite all my efforts to give her a normal life, she was still caught up with the unfortunate part of being a mafia princess.
“Do take your time.” Eric said tapping my shoulder. I nodded to him and watched him through my side eyes till he was out of the room.
I dipped my head feeling ashamed of myself. My mum had always told me to respect women because of what she went through with my dad but here I was having done the exact opposite of what she asked of me. How could I shamelessly face her?
“Mum….” I called, carefully touching her hand. “Today, I’m not going to ask how you are, I just wish you’d wake up and scold me as much as you can. I wish you’d tell me what a terrible son I am. I need you to tell me how undeserving I am mum.” I paused and then images of me locking Thea up after I found her flooded in my head, how Monica had toture her and the bruises she sustained, how I got her starving and all the harsh words I said to her
How could I treat the woman I claimed to love that way?
The ladies had sided with her all these while, hinting on her innocence and her feelings being genuine but I never gave Thea a chance to defend herself and now I was suffering the consequences.
“Remember I told you that I found someone.” I said smiling bitterly. “I told you I found the love of my life and that she was so pretty. She’s everything I want mum….” I stopped again as pain engulfed my heart, I tried to hold the tear that stung my eyes. It was never an easy thing to cry for me, not even after my mum got to be in this state, not when my stepdad died. I just buckled up the pain deciding to be as strong as possible but with Thea, it was just different.
I had shed a tear once because of her and now that same fluid was threatening to drop. She really got herself imprinted in my heart.
“I messed things up mum. I failed Thea and I failed you. I punished her for just wanting to be free… I’m not even sure anymore. It seems that I had been wrong all along. That despite her desire to be free she didn’t actually betray me for that reason.” I took a deep sigh and rubbed my face with my palm.
“You know, she collapsed after seeing me with another lady. Had she loved me truly all along? But now she says she hates me and hurts like hell. I want to win her back mum… But I don’t know how to.” I let myself feel vulnerable again, resting my head beside my mum and letting the tears I had held back to flow.
I was so scared of loosing Thea, so scared out of my mind. I stayed with my mum for something before deciding to head home but on my way home I made a resolution to go meet Thea. I didn’t need to speak with her, I just wanted to have a glimpse of her because my heart yearned for it.NôvelDrama.Org content.
Once I got home, I made my way to Florentine’s room where Thea had been staying since she returned from the clinic.
“Angel….” Florentine called looking shocked as we met along the way to her room. “Where are you going?” She asked looking at me suspiciously.
“I need to see her.” I said, I knew it wouldn’t be easy because Florentine wouldn’t let me.
“You know you can’t do that right? She doesn’t want to see you.” She spoke gently almost like she felt sorry for me.
“I know, but I really need to. I don’t want to talk, just a glimpse Florentine, please….”
Florentine shut her eye briefly then opened them. Her eyes were filled with pity. She tried to say something but seemed lost for words.
“I-I can’t Angel. I can’t do that to Thea. You got her all riled up the last time you forced your way to see her. She isn’t good at all, not in the right state of mind to see you… You’re obviously the last person she wants to have around her so please, just let her be. I beg you.” She said and I could tell that she really meant it.
“Can I see her then, when she’s asleep?” I was that desperate but Florentine looked at me with a sad expression.
“I’m sorry Angel. You should go now.” She said and I understood. I turned around sadly while she left for the clinic after making sure that I was indeed gone.
The moment I saw that she had left I went back. I haden’t slept a wink in two nights because I had been itching to see and talk to Thea.
This was one opportunity I couldn’t miss.
I hurried to Florentine’s room, sighed, then twisted the handle and pulled it open.