My Hockey Alpha

 Chapter 115 Nightmares

Enzo drove me home that night. As I got off of his motorcycle, I wanted so badly to stay with him. We could drive away on his motorcycle together and never return to this place, but at the same time, I knew that he was right about our relationship. If he truly had a fated mate, it wasn’t my place to tear him away from her.

“Thank you,” I said, standing beside his bike and shivering in the chilly autumn wind. “I appreciate your kindness.”

Enzo simply nodded before driving away. As I watched him go, I blinked away tears.

I returned to my room and tried to get some sleep, but I couldn’t. Every time I fell asleep, I would have relentless nightmares about Edward returning to torture me or kidnap me. Finally, after an hour of tossing and turning, I began to feel claustrophobic in my bedroom and decided to go outside for a bit. As I put on some warm clothes and slipped on my sneakers to go out, I couldn’t help but think that my time spent in Edward’s little dungeon had impacted my ability to be in an enclosed space for very long.

The air was cold and brisk when I went outside, but it felt refreshing on my hot skin, and it was peaceful. With everyone else asleep, the campus was dark and quiet.

I walked for a bit with my hands in my pockets, staring at the ground as I thought about everything. Finally, I looked up at the sky and realized that the stars were clearly visible, so I stopped in one of the campus’s many small parks and laid in the grass. Maybe I could just fall asleep out here — if only that would be a possibility.

My heart started to ache a little bit less as I looked up at the stars. It was funny to think that, just a few months ago, I wasn’t even remotely aware of werewolves, and now it turned out that I actually was one myself. What was even funnier to me was that a few months before that, before I even met Justin, I had

absolutely no interest in love and now I was pining away for the exact opposite of the type of guy I would have ever even thought about. I was solely focused on work and school back then. Sometimes, I wished it could just go back to that. It was so much simpler before.

Suddenly, my train of thought was broken by the sound of footsteps echoing on the sidewalk through the quiet night. I lifted my head up to see who was coming, prepared to run or even fight if it was Edward or Lisa, but relaxed as I saw who it was.

Enzo.

“What are you doing out here?” he said, stopping in front of me and blocking my view of the stars from where I lay.

I shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep. Didn’t wanna be inside.”

“You’re not planning on sleeping out here, are you?”

I chuckled. “What are you doing out here?”

Now, it was Enzo who shrugged. “I saw you through my window. You made me kinda worried. You’re endangering yourself by being out here, you know.”

“Well, stay with me, then,” I said, patting the grass next to me. “I don’t wanna go back inside.”

Enzo hesitated for a moment before finally giving in and sitting down beside me with a sigh. I returned to looking at the stars, and saw him glance over at me out of the corner of my eye before he tilted his head back and looked up along with me.

“You can see all of Orion tonight,” I said, pointing to the big constellation of the hunter in the sky. I traced my finger along the trio of stars that made up Orion’s Belt, then up to his torso, then his club.

“Hm,” Enzo replied, laying back on the grass beside me and following my finger with his eyes. “Nice night for stargazing, I guess.”

We were silent for several minutes, just quietly taking in the stars and listening to the sound of the crickets around us. At one point, I looked over to see that Enzo was looking at the sky intently and with wonder, almost in a childlike way. It was cute.

“Oh, look!” he exclaimed suddenly, pointing with his hand that was closer to me. “A shooting star. Make a wish.”

I grinned and squeezed my eyes shut, then made my wish.

“What did you wish for?” he asked.

I shook my head. “If I told you, then it wouldn’t come true.”

Enzo sighed and finally lowered his hand. As he did, it brushed my hand, and although he quickly jerked away, I felt my face start to blush. I propped myself up on my elbow, facing him, and looked at him — but then, something caught my eye.

“What’s that?” I asked, pointing at the red scarf clutched tightly in his hand.

He paused for a moment and took in a sharp breath, clutching the scarf even tighter. It was a delicate scarf that was meant for a woman, not a man. There were little designs stitched into it.

“Uh, it’s nothing,” he said, shoving it in his jacket pocket. “Just a… thing.”

“Just a thing?” I asked, smirking. “Enzo, I know we’re not supposed to be romantically involved, but I still consider you a friend. You can still talk to me.”

He hesitated again before finally sighing and speaking. “Fine. My dad sent it to me, as… motivation to win the tournament. It belongs to my fated mate. It has her scent on it.”

I knew I wasn’t supposed to care, but I did. Hearing this made my heart ache, and I felt a knot form in the pit of my stomach. “Oh,” was all I could say before I rolled back over onto my back and looked up at the sky once again. “That was nice of your dad to do that.”

Enzo didn’t answer. We were silent once more for some time before my curiosity got the best of me, and I spoke.

“What’s it like?” I asked, blinking away the tears that were beginning to well up in my eyes. “Your mate’s scent.”

Enzo paused. It seemed as though he didn’t want to answer, and rightfully so. But finally, and much to my surprise, he did answer after a few moments of silence.

“It’s… nice,” he said. Belongs to (N)ôvel/Drama.Org.

“Just nice?”

He shrugged. “Better than nice. I can’t really explain it. It’s like… You know how sometimes you smell something, like a specific soap or a candle, and it reminds you of when you were a kid?”

“Mhm,” I replied. As he spoke, I kept my eyes on the stars, praying that he didn’t notice the tear that was rolling down my cheek.

“Well, it’s like that,” he continued. “Except I know I’ve never smelled it before. Like it’s just a part of me. Somehow, I’ve always known it without ever having actually experienced it. It’s comforting.”

Just then, I saw another shooting star. I closed my eyes, wishing… Wishing that none of this was true, because when I was in the tunnels, the scent that came from Enzo’s cell was exactly like that.

Was it possible to have an unrequited fated mate?

I opened my eyes again to see that Enzo was sitting up now, looking at me. I quickly wiped the tear off of my cheek with my hand, hoping that he hadn’t seen it — but he had.

“I’m sorry,” he said, putting the scarf back in his pocket. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

I shook my head vehemently. “No,” I replied, sitting up now myself. “It’s okay. I’m happy that you feel comfortable enough being open with me. But… I’m tired now, so I’m gonna go home.”

I stood, and Enzo stood along with me. We walked in silence back to my building, stopping in front of the door once we reached it.

“Thanks for sitting with me,” I said.

Enzo nodded, then stared back down at the ground. I took in a deep breath and turned around to go back inside, but just before I did, I stopped. I bit my lip, turning back to face him with a burning question on my tongue. He was already walking down the steps.

“Enzo?” I called. He stopped and turned back around to look at me.

“Yes?”

“After everything we’ve felt for each other, you don’t think that there’s any chance–”

Enzo shook his head and interrupted me. “No, Nina. I’m sorry, but now that I’ve experienced her scent, I know that she’s my fated mate, and there’s no denying it.”

I felt tears well up in my eyes again. “But all of the times we wanted to be together… All of the times that it felt as though we couldn’t resist…”

“Love is different from lust,” Enzo replied. His voice was dark and low. “I’m sorry. But I think that all we ever really had between us was lust. It was doomed from the start.”

“Okay.” That was all I could say. My voice came out in a soft, choked whisper, so quiet it could have been mistaken for the breeze. Without another word, I went back inside, and the last thing I saw before shutting the door was Enzo walking across the quad with the red scarf in his hand