[20] a
We agreed to go home separately. It’s not that I don’t want Dewa to drop me off; I brought my car. So, after finishing our meal and I also resolved whatever was bothering Dewa, we parted ways. Dewa seemed to be prepared for me to say something according to his prediction. It amused me.
“We’re better off as friends, Wa. You’re funny, and sometimes I need entertainment from the way you talk.”
He nodded eventually. Then, Dewa smiled as usual and said, “Even if you change your mind, my heart will still be set on you, Anya.”
I didn’t feel like responding to that. I just replied with a smile and a slight nod. “Thanks for your attention. I’m touched.”
And this lightened my burden. Looking at Dewa, he’s attractive. Handsome like Kelvin. But still, I can’t force my heart to anchor anywhere, right? As a companion on my way home, I turned on the car audio again. Raisa’s beautiful voice filled the car.
It didn’t take long for my car to reach the apartment basement parking where I live. I felt light on my feet, probably due to the full stomach and thinking about resuming my plans. That’s why I’m so happy. I just need to wait for the right time, right?
What I didn’t prepare for was when I picked up a package from an online shop that was left at the reception desk, and Cedric was there. Damn it, he saw me and without hesitation approached me. I didn’t want any trouble, so I just stayed quiet as he forcibly took my belongings.
I rummaged through my bag to find the access key and he roughly grabbed my arm. I still let him do it. I just followed his steps as if I had a possessive boyfriend who couldn’t be left too far behind. Cedric didn’t say anything, and neither did I. What’s the point? I would just kick him out when we arrived in front of my unit. He’s a pest, an annoying intruder who must be expelled.
Once the elevator reached the tenth floor, Cedric still didn’t let go of my hand.
“Leave. I want to rest,” I said as I pushed his hand away. He didn’t even flinch. Damn, does he have no ears?
In front of my unit, he immediately used the key and pushed me in a little. “Do you have any manners? You’ve gone too far!” I said, feeling upset. I had hoped to avoid any trouble, but clearly, this guy has no respect!
Not even a minute passed before Cedric’s lips were on mine. I pushed him away with a slap as soon as I regained my senses. “ARE YOU CRAZY? LEAVE!”
“No! I’m here. You drove me crazy all day, Joice.” Cedric didn’t seem to care that his cheek turned red from the force of my hand. With all the anger building up inside me, I moved my hand again.
“Go away!” I meant every word I just said.
Cedric shook his head. “After you went out with Dewa?”
I hesitated. “What did you say?”
“You went out and had dinner with Dewa, right? I know. I’m not mad.”
I let out a laugh. It sounded scary, and it should’ve made my hair stand on end. Seriously, Cedric was getting crazier by the minute. “You want to be mad at me? Who do you think you are?”
“I don’t have the right now. I know that for sure. But I’ll soon fulfill what I’m obliged to do, Joice.”
It’s better for me to get away from him. I’m starting to get high blood just dealing with him.
“And I won’t let you go out with another guy except me.”Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!
I turned to face Cedric, and he was staring at me with an intense look. It’s not the usual Cedric. The friendly Cedric was nowhere to be found. Neither was the path he was heading towards me. There was no doubt in him, and his intimidating aura was palpable, making the atmosphere tense.
I was scared, but if I looked away for even a second, I would lose. No way. Not a chance. What can he do?
Now, he was standing right in front of me. His breath was heavy, his eyes locked on mine, and his fists clenched. It seemed like he was really angry. And then, before I could stop him, and really… what he did left me frozen.
He rested his forehead on my shoulder. “What did I do wrong to make you like this?”
I blinked in surprise at the weight Cedric dropped on my shoulder.
“Don’t make me feel like I’m some bad person getting angry at you, Joice. I’m not good at controlling my emotions,” he said, his voice trembling. I don’t know why this had such a powerful effect on me. My towering anger slowly subsided, and my body relaxed.
“It’s complicated, Cedric.”
Instead of letting go, he hugged me tightly. And what’s even worse, my body didn’t want to let go or push Cedric away. My hands were the biggest traitor. Softly, I stroked his back. Damn it, Cedric!
“Let go, Cedric,” I said softly. “It’s suffocating. I feel uneasy.”
“Just a little longer.”
I remained silent.
“I don’t know what I did wrong, but please forgive me.”
Should I tell him what I saw? Do I sound jealous? But Cedric and I have no relationship whatsoever. So shouldn’t I just tell him as a matter of fact?
“Last night, I saw you at the club.” I finally said. The inner battle was too much, and I couldn’t bear it. “And you were with a girl.”
He immediately released me from the hug. His eyes stared at me with disbelief. I just sighed. Did what I said sound like a lie? Oh my god!
“You went to the club?” It was Cedric who said that instead of giving me an answer to what I saw. It made me annoyed with myself. I pushed Cedric’s chest hard enough so he would step back. I took off the blazer I was wearing. It’s better for me to take a bath than to talk to Cedric.
There’s absolutely no benefit to it, right?
“Where are you going?” Cedric held me back again.
“To take a shower!” I replied, pushing his hand away rather roughly as he tried to hold onto my arm.
“Shall I make some tea for you?”
Before my steps fully entered the room, I glanced back slightly. “Just hot chocolate. It’s on the top shelf.”
I don’t know how long I spent soaking in the bathtub. Honestly, I found it comforting, and this time my mind was a little calmer. Let Cedric wait if he wants; it doesn’t bother me at all. Besides, I’m used to being alone, sometimes accompanied by Naomi and Dona. So, whether Cedric is here or not, it doesn’t really matter to me.
When I came out of the room, Cedric was sitting on the sofa with his hands clasped. His chest was rising and falling rhythmically, and his eyes were closed. A cup of hot chocolate was already served there, but I couldn’t tell if it was still hot or not. My traitorous eyes enjoyed looking at Cedric, who seemed to be sleeping. Even though his face was slightly down, I could still see that his cheeks were a bit flushed. I winced, it must have hurt a lot earlier. But whatever. He deserved it.
Well, let him be. If he doesn’t wake up in the next hour, I’ll kick him out. I don’t want Cedric staying overnight here. No way!
I picked up the mug with the hot chocolate. Even if it’s not too hot anymore, I can still enjoy it. The night air on the balcony is the perfect choice while sipping this chocolate. After finishing the chocolate, I intended to sleep. I don’t want to stay up too late even though I’d like to work overtime. Cedric is here. It won’t be possible.
“You didn’t wake me up?”
Luckily, I didn’t drop the mug! Cedric is becoming like a demon or something, always trying to startle me.
“Go home,” I dismissed him without bothering to look at him for too long. But Cedric, being stubborn as he is, instead of moving away, he moved closer to me, though not too close, but close enough for me to catch a whiff of his cologne. Damn, he’s distracting me!
“I just wanted to say that I was actually working at the club yesterday. Well… trying to earn some extra money.”
At that moment, I turned to look at him, immersing myself in his pitch-black eyes. The night breeze messed up his slightly curly and thick hair. I knew that because I had experienced it before.
“But you were close to beautiful girls there.” I’m not jealous, really. Not at all. I’m just asking to get rid of all the curiosity that’s been bothering me since last night, I admit.
“It’s not like that, well… I work there.”
“So you’re a gigolo?” I don’t know why that question came out just like that. When I glanced quickly, Cedric seemed to look at me in disbelief.
“Isn’t there a worse accusation than that?”
“Well… who knows, right?” I shrugged while trying to steady my heartbeat.
“No.”
Well, I didn’t respond anymore. He said he was working there to earn some extra money. Whatever, if he’s lying, it’s not my problem.
“I was just helping out there, but I was offered a part-time job eventually. It’s a good way to save money.”
I let the wind mess up my hair intentionally.
“Especially now that I have responsibilities. I know I’m not worthy to be with you right now. But at least I can still fight, right?”
***
I must sound crazy. I couldn’t sleep well last night. Cedric’s words kept me awake. They kept playing in my head like a broken tape. It’s like what happened inside me was really making him have to put in extra effort. A burden, I guess?
It doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate Cedric. Not at all. I feel like he’s too hard on himself in life. Well… even though I don’t know for sure if he only works part-time there? Because, when I examined and tried to recall Cedric’s appearance two nights ago, it was very different.
Cedric’s appearance was far from that of an office boy. I’m serious. Even the black shirt he wore when he dropped me off three months ago was much less cool than Cedric surrounded by beautiful women. So, if I suspect that he’s some women’s plaything, wouldn’t it be reasonable?
I glanced at the wall clock, and it was already three in the morning. Damn it. My head suddenly felt dizzy. Can I take medicine with a drowsy effect? But I need to sleep now. Ah, I don’t care if my body feels a bit feverish later. I reached for the eucalyptus oil that was always available on the nightstand. I applied it to my feet, hands, and neck. The aroma had a strong effect.
Strange, right? But I liked it. I started to relax little by little. And before I knew it, I fell asleep, and the ringing of my phone made my pounding head even worse. I held on to the edge of the bed to keep from falling.
“Who’s there?” I answered softly.
“Did you just wake up, Joice?”
My forehead furrowed. Who’s bothering me at this hour of the night? And why does my head hurt so much, and why does my body feel like I just finished running around Monas ten times?
“I’m in front of the door, Joice.”
Oh, there’s only one person who calls me like that. Cedric.
“It’s still night. You’re so annoying, you know!”
Then, the doorbell sounded even louder and clearer. Cedric is really annoying!
Slightly staggering, I walked out of the room. My vision was slightly blurry, and the light in the living room suddenly turned yellow. I didn’t change the lamp setting. It should be bright, right? Not to mention, the headache intensified. Moreover, the apartment’s doorbell didn’t seem to lessen its existence.
As soon as I opened the door, Cedric glared at me, and the next thing I remembered was my phone slipping from my grasp.
***