Shield of Sparrows

Father, Margot, and Mae stood in a line dockside beside the Turan ships.

Their spines were stiff, posture perfect with hands clasped and crowns gleaming in the faint rays of dawn.

They’d come to say goodbye.

The relief at seeing them was so great it knocked the wind from my lungs and drove my feet to a stop.

They came.

On the walk back from the marroweels, I’d convinced myself it didn’t matter if they skipped this send-off. That I wouldn’t be hurt, knowing that Father had promised to bring me home when my spying was complete. I’d been sure they wouldn’t show.

But there they were, each dressed in bold teal. And they looked as miserable as I felt.

The Guardian shot me a scowl over his shoulder when he realized I was no longer trailing behind him. But he didn’t snap his fingers again, didn’t summon me to hurry up. He continued past my family without sparing them a glance.

It was nearly time to go. The docks were empty, the supplies loaded onto the ships along with my trunks. I searched for my two lady’s maids and found Brielle boarding the middle ship alone. Jocelyn must already be on deck. The crew on the lead boat was untying the ropes wrapped around the dock cleats.

I tried to move but couldn’t. Every mental command for my legs to walk was ignored.

How did I say goodbye? What if this was the end? What if I never saw my family again?

What if I failed? What if everyone I loved was killed in the migration?

Father tore his focus from a Turan ship and found me standing frozen, twenty paces away. Had he always had that much gray in his hair? Or had those sprouted sometime in the night as he’d realized I was not cut out for this task?

When Mae noticed me, her blue eyes softened, like she knew I was stuck. She stepped away from Margot’s side and came to mine, looping our arms together. With a tug, she forced me to move. “You look lovely this morning.”

“Thank you.” Not for the compliment, but for coming to the docks. For being here so I wouldn’t have to do this alone. My heart was beating so hard, and the burn in my throat warned that tears were on their way. Crying would only annoy Father, so I gulped it down.

“If you’re going to cry, don’t,” she said, like she could read my mind. “You’re ugly when you cry.”

I laughed, something I didn’t think would have been possible this morning. “Demon.”

“Admit it. You’ll miss me.”

“Never.” I leaned my head on her shoulder as she led me forward.

She slowed our pace, nearly dragging me backward so we wouldn’t reach Father and Margot so soon. “Be careful around the Guardian.”

“You think?” I deadpanned. “I hadn’t considered he might be dangerous.”

“I’m serious. You must always be on guard. And you must not trust them. Father needs to find Allesaria.”

“Wait.” I pulled her to a stop and waited until she faced me. “Do you know what he’s planning?”

“Of course.”

Of course. Silly me for thinking we were all in the dark. Nope, just me.

I was being taken to Turah and ordered to steal their secrets. I’d been married off to a prince and forced to sign an ancient, magical treaty in my blood. I’d done everything required of a princess in my station with barely an objection.

Yet he hadn’t wanted to give me all of his truths. He hadn’t given me his complete trust.

I’d learned a long time ago to live without his affection. His love. But damn it, no matter how hard I tried, I wanted his trust. His confidence.

Why would he share his intentions with Mae but not me? Was it because she had a vicious streak? Because she was bold and cunning? Because she knew how to wield a sword and win in a fight?

Regardless of the reason, he’d chosen her to be the Sparrow. He always chose her.

All I’d ever done was serve him. All I’d ever done was as he’d asked. All I’d ever done was try to make him see me.

What was it going to take?

Maybe the only way I’d earn his trust was by finding the road to Allesaria.

And by murder.

Would he trust me if I killed the Guardian? Did he care that I’d likely be the one to die instead?

“You can do this,” Mae said, lowering her voice. “Get to Allesaria. Send word as soon as possible. And while you’re at it, cut out the Guardian’s heart.”

There was the beloved sister I knew.

“You make assassination sound so simple,” I muttered, facing forward.

I was met with a molten silver gaze from the man standing on the middle ship’s deck.

The Guardian glared at me so intensely that a tremble rocked me on my heels. There was no way he could have overheard us from that far away, but the way he sneered, the way his jaw clenched, made me wonder if he’d heard every word.

Gods. Was that one of his powers?

Margot stepped in front of me, blocking the Guardian from sight as she put her hands on my shoulders. “Be careful.”

“I will.”

She pulled me into a hug, speaking into my ear. “You are strong, Odessa. Stronger than you realize.”

Margot had been the only mother I’d ever known, but she wasn’t a woman to deliver praise. It was as foreign as it was welcome, like a raindrop to a dying plant.

She let me go as quickly as she’d pulled me into her arms, then dabbed at the corners of her dry eyes.

Maybe it was all for show. Today, I’d take the performance, even if it was fake.

“Where’s Arthy?” I glanced around, searching for my brother. Was he still in their carriage?

“Asleep.” An unspoken obviously hung between us. “It’s scarcely dawn.”

“But I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

She’d told me she’d bring him. That I could see him, hug him, before I left. If he wasn’t here, then I’d leave and there was a very real chance I’d never see him again. That burn in my throat returned with a vengeance.

“You’ll see him again.” She waved it off.

What if I didn’t? Would he even remember me? I opened my mouth, but there was nothing to say. It was too late. I was leaving.

Father took Margot’s place, standing before me with his strong hands on my shoulders. With a jerk of his chin, he sent Margot and Mae away, leaving us alone.

His caramel eyes held mine, as gentle as I’d ever seen. If it was an act, too, I refused to believe it. “You can do this.”

“I’ll try.” I gave him a sad smile. “For you.”

His large frame deflated as he wrapped me in his arms. “I’ve made so many mistakes as your father. I’m sorry. Your mother would be so disappointed in me.”

The shock of that statement squelched the threat of tears. He never spoke of my mother. None of them did. And he’d apologized. Who was this man, and where was my cold, proud father?

“Remember all that I told you,” he murmured, his voice barely a whisper.

“I will.”

“Good.” He loosened his hold, but before he could let me go, I held him tighter.

“Can you really save us from the crux? Will you break the Shield of Sparrows?” This was my only chance to ask. I doubted he’d tell me, but I had to try.

“I will try. But I must get into Allesaria before the migration.”

“Why? What is in the city that you’re looking for? If you tell me, maybe I could help find it.”

“That burden is not for you to carry.”

No, but he’d given it to Mae.

“How is it even possible? I read the treaty. If you invade, you’ll be going against its stipulations.” There weren’t many noted in detail, but that had been a definite rule. “You’re the king of Quentis. You’ll die.”

“I have no intention of dying. Not any time soon.”

“But—”

“No more questions.” He let me go and backed away. “I’m asking for your trust, Odessa. Do I have it?”

I gave him mine but didn’t get his in return. It wasn’t fair. But I spoke without hesitation. “Yes.”

He closed his eyes, relief tempering his features. “Good.”

Maybe I didn’t have all the details. But he was my father. My king. In my lifetime, all I’d ever seen him do was what he thought best for his people. And I was still one of his people, no matter how far I sailed away.

He cupped my face with a hand, his thumb tracing along my cheek. His gaze shifted to my hair, to the crown. “I never should have allowed Margot to dye your hair. The red was your mother’s.”

“You told me.” A long, long time ago. When I was a little girl and he hadn’t forgotten Mother yet.

“Be that as it may, the brown suits you.” He kissed my forehead, then shifted to the side, elbow extended to escort me to the center ship.

A wooden walkway connected the boat to the dock.

Father loosened his hold and, with his hand on the small of my back, urged me on.

Alone.

A Turan man with narrow gray eyes was waiting on the other side, his hand outstretched to help me down the single step and onto the deck. The moment both of my feet were firmly planted on board, he reached past me and hauled in the walkway.

Wood clattered against wood as he secured it against the ship’s wall, then closed the door at my back, flipping its metal latch. Then he was gone, joining the others as they shouted to one another, every person on the ship ready to leave Roslo.

My knees wobbled, either from the swaying motion of the ship or the realization that this was it. Without that walkway, I was no longer tethered to Quentis. To home.

“Highness.” Brielle rushed to my side, her cheeks flushed and her straight brown hair escaping the knot at her nape. After a quick bob, she motioned to the rear of the ship. “Come with me. Jocelyn is waiting. I was told we were to stay out of the way.”

Meaning she was told to keep me out of the way.

I had no desire to mingle with the Turans, so I let her lead me up the stairs of the quarterdeck, past the captain’s post, to the far railing along the stern.

As the sails were hoisted, the noise from the men faded. The water lapped at the ship’s hull as we rocked side to side.

Jocelyn dipped into a curtsy as we approached. “Highness.”

There were tear tracks down her cheeks, and the color had leached from her face. Her wavy blond hair was like Brielle’s, knotted but in disarray.

Leaning against the wooden railing, I settled between the two. They were both taller than me with luscious curves. I’d always envied their figures. I probably looked like a girl among women with my slender frame and scrawny arms.

I wasn’t like Margot or Mae. When we were children, even though Mae was younger, if there was ever a squabble with another child, I’d let her fight them for me. I’d let her be the one to push and punch.

Asking Jocelyn and Brielle to fight my battles wouldn’t be right. Somehow, I’d have to find the strength to do that on my own. How? I had no idea.

“How long have you been here?” I asked Jocelyn.

“Not long,” she said. “I’ve been belowdecks, situating our room.”

“Our room?”

“The man who helped me aboard said we’d all be staying together.”

So I wouldn’t be sharing quarters with Zavier. “Fine by me.”

“Last night. Was it…” Brielle looked behind us, ensuring we were alone. “Was it unpleasant?”

I hadn’t seen her since she left my rooms yesterday, so it made sense that she’d think my night had been spent in Zavier’s bed, not my father’s study.

“He hasn’t asked for me to join him in bed yet, and I have no plans to until he does.”

“Oh.” She opened her mouth like she was going to say something else, then closed it with a click.

Mae would probably have kept that fact to herself. She usually let her lady’s maids believe whatever it was they believed, giving no answers to personal questions. She let them gossip, even when the rumors they spread were false.

But Brielle and Jocelyn would be my only allies on this journey. Eventually, we might even become friends. I didn’t want to start that friendship with a lie.

“Have you seen him? The prince?” I asked.

“No, Highness,” Jocelyn said.

Maybe Zavier had chosen another boat. Maybe, if Daria, the Goddess of Luck, was on my side—she rarely was—the Guardian would have slipped onto that other boat, too.

There was a crowd gathering on the docks. Besides my family and the royal guard, a group of merchants and vendors had wandered over to watch us depart. A cluster of soldiers gathered beside Margot’s carriage.

Banner hadn’t come. I hadn’t seen him since the throne room.

It would have been nice to say goodbye, but it was probably for the best that he stayed away.

“There’s my mother.” Jocelyn pointed toward a woman standing apart from the others. Her hair was the same wavy blond as her daughter’s. “She made me promise to return.”

I hoped that in some way, I could help her keep that promise.

“Is your family here?” I asked Brielle.

She swallowed hard, shaking her head. “No, Highness. With such short notice, all I could do was send them a letter.”

Her parents had a farm in Quentis. It was enough to sustain them and her brother’s family, but she’d had to leave for work in the city. And their farm was too far away for word to reach them in less than a day.

Maybe I should have insisted on taking Mae’s lady’s maids instead. They’d known for over a year that they’d be leaving Quentis. They’d had time to prepare. In the whirlwind since the throne room, I hadn’t thought to challenge Father and Margot’s orders that Brielle and Jocelyn were to accompany me to Turah.

This bride prize, this godsforsaken marriage, had disrupted more lives than just my own.

“I’m sorry.”

She lifted a shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“Thank you.” Her voice wobbled as she sniffled.

We settled into a solemn quiet as we stared at Roslo.

Would I return to my beloved city? Would I ever see my golden castle again? Even if I accomplished this task, if I found the way into Allesaria, I’d never live in Quentis again, would I?

That room on the fourth floor with the narrow balcony was no longer mine. So I took in every detail, memorized every tower and spire, until the boat lurched and the men shouted and we were drifting away.

Jocelyn raised one hand in the air, waving to her mother, while the other covered her mouth and her quiet sobs. She sniffled as more tears streaked down her cheeks.

This wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fucking fair.

“I promise to send you home,” I told her. “You’ll see Quentis again.”

There was a very real chance I’d break that vow. It was cruel to make a promise I wasn’t sure I could keep.

I made it anyway.

Father wasn’t the only person I’d fail if I didn’t find the way into Allesaria. I couldn’t leave Brielle and Jocelyn trapped in a foreign kingdom, separated from their families indefinitely.

The pressure of these expectations made it hard to breathe. The weight of these secrets rested heavily on my shoulders.

Could I do this?

Probably not. But I’d try anyway. From this moment forward.

I could do this.

Maybe if I told myself enough times, I’d start to believe it.

The crowd on the docks shifted as my father turned and strode toward his waiting horse. Margot and Mae retreated to their carriage.

I watched them leave, trailing along the street, protected by their guards, until they were swallowed up by the city. They’d follow the streets that wound past white buildings to the castle. They’d return to their life, while I sailed into mine.

The soldiers left next, followed by the merchants, who filtered to their stalls. To the work that would consume them until dusk and put food on their tables.

Only one person remained on the docks as we sailed out of Roslo Bay.

Jocelyn’s mother.

She kept waving. She never stopped. Her arms had to be tired, but she kept waving to her daughter.noveldrama

I might be the woman wearing the crown, but Jocelyn was the one with the riches, wasn’t she?

It was too hard to watch her mother and that wave, to see Jocelyn wave back another minute, so I looked to my cliffside.

I’d expected to find it empty, but a lone rider sat on his horse at the top. A man dressed in a teal uniform, riding a buckskin stallion.

Banner.

I lifted my arm in the air.

He did the same.

I watched him until he was only a speck on the coastline. Until the buildings blurred together in a sea of white. Until the golden castle at their backs became a glint on the horizon. I stayed at that wooden railing, watching my homeland disappear, even after Brielle and Jocelyn had excused themselves to go below.

It vanished in a blink. One moment, I could still make it out if I squinted hard. Then, it was gone, and all I could see was water.

Or maybe that was simply my tears.

I pulled the crown from my hair, blinking my eyes dry.

“You’ll need other clothes.” A man’s deep, rumbling voice startled me with a jolt. I whirled, nearly dropping my crown as I expected to find the Guardian lurking.

But it was Zavier.

How long had he been standing there? And when the hell had he learned to talk?

“Most women in Turah dress like the men.” He joined me at the rail. “They find pants to be more practical for daily living. Even in Perris courts, ladies typically only wear gowns for parties.”

He wanted to talk about fashion? Absolutely not. “You can speak.”

“Just because I don’t talk doesn’t mean I can’t.” He grinned. It was less of a smirk than that of the Guardian’s, but it was just as arrogant and infuriating. “Welcome aboard the Cutter, Odessa Wolfe.”

Wolfe. Not Cross.

Odessa Wolfe.

It was a gut punch. Another reminder of all that had changed in less than a day. If not for the railing, I would have been knocked on my ass.

How much of an identity could one person lose before they were hollowed into a shell?

Odessa Wolfe.

I hated it. Loathed it with every fiber of my being.

Maybe he could sense that. Maybe this was his game, to strip me of everything that was me.

Well, I wasn’t playing. They couldn’t strip me of anything if I did it myself.

“Here.” I thrust my crown into his hands. “This should feed an entire family for years.”

Zavier studied the gold and amber jewels, his forehead furrowing.

I didn’t wait for his reply. I crossed the stern and hoped the pitiful splash I heard behind me wasn’t my crown being tossed into the ocean.