Chapter 174
I’m a little shocked right now. Carter is always straight-laced. He never veers off the path and always makes certain I’m headed in the right direction. So this, it comes out of left field.
“It sure is, and tonight we’re going to go to a party at a club. Together, of course, because I’m not letting you out of my sights.”
My mouth pops open. “You’re lying.” He has to be lying.
He shakes his head. “Nope.”
I narrow my eyes to slits. “How? What about my parents? They wanted to have dinner tonight.”
“They still are, just without us.” Carter grins. “I talked them into letting you enjoy your birthday the teenage way. You’re welcome.”
“Why? Why all of a sudden do you want to have fun? This isn’t like you. Does Lucca know?”
Carter’s features darken. “Don’t worry about Lucca. Tonight, we’re celebrating your birthday. Be ready in two hours.”
I want to object, knowing Lucca wouldn’t approve of me going out, but he isn’t here, and I’m going to do whatever I want, especially on my birthday. Maybe also a little bit to spite him.
“I’ll be ready,” I tell Carter.
“Good. I’ll tell Tracy and Steven we’re leaving soon. They don’t know about the ID, of course. No one needs to know what we’re doing exactly.”
I smile. “I like this new version of you. Breaking the rules.”
Carter runs his fingers through his dark hair. “Don’t get used to it. I just want you to have a good time tonight. Don’t make me regret it, okay?”
And just like that, he’s back to business, being his typical asshole self. “Fine, now get out.” I point to the door.
Carter leaves the room and closes the door behind him.
I fall back onto the mattress and stare up at the ceiling. For two years, I’ve tried to move on. I’ve tried to forget about him, but I never could. It hits me then, slapping me across the face and lodging itself in my brain.
Tonight, I’m going to shatter that crush, breaking it like I broke that shadowbox. I’m not his butterfly anymore. Lucca doesn’t know it, but I’ll be free of him after tonight. If he doesn’t want me, then I’m going to make it my mission to find someone who does.
College is on the horizon, and I’m not going to be a virgin when I leave in the fall. The easiest way to put this behind me is to find some random guy and fuck him.
A guy who doesn’t see me as a child, who doesn’t call me butterfly, and who doesn’t care more about protecting me than my sanity.
“Tonight, I will be free of you…” I whisper to myself, a smile pulling at my lips while a tear lingers in the corner of my eyes.
Letting go is easier than enduring a lifetime of disappointment.
* * *
The inside of the club is loud and smells like cheap liquor and sweat. I smile anyway, mainly because I can’t believe the fake ID worked. The bouncers didn’t even bat an eye at me. Carter scans the room and places his hand on the small of my back, guiding us toward the bar.
When we reach the enormous bar, I’m struck by a sudden bout of wariness. Should I really be here tonight? What if something happens? The fear from those years ago still lingers at the back of my mind. I look over my shoulder, wondering if someone is after me?
Carter leans into my side, and I tilt my head so I can see his face.
“What do you want to drink?”
“Let’s do shots,” I yell over the loud music.
“Shots?” Carter arches a brow. “Do you want to remember tonight?”
“Actually, that sounds like a good idea.”
“Remembering or-”
“Not. I don’t want to remember tonight,” I tell him. It’s the perfect time to end my conversation with Carter because the bartender saunters up to me. “Hi! Can we have five shots of whatever liquor you choose?”
The bartender smirks. “Whatever you want, doll. I’ll get it for you.”
I peer over my shoulder, giving Carter a dirty look. The bartender disappears to get our order. I know that if I want to find myself in the arms of a man tonight, I’ll have to get rid of him.
The bartender returns with the shots and places them down on the bar in front of me. “Would you like to open a tab?”
“Yes!” I say at the same time that Carter says, “No.”
“Yes. Please, open a tab for us,” I say sweetly, ignoring Carter’s fiery stare that’s burning into the back of my skull. The bartender, of course, listens to me and walks away with a smile.
“You’re not going to drink all those-”Copyright Nôv/el/Dra/ma.Org.
Carter doesn’t get to finish his sentence before I’ve downed two of the shots. The liquid burns a path of fire down my throat, and my eyes water as it settles in my stomach. I grab another and another, and once I’ve taken all five shots, I turn to Carter with a smile on my lips.
“What was that you said?”
He chuckles, and I know tonight is going to be a good night. I’ll find someone worth my time and let him whisk me away. It’s the only thing I can think of to sever the connection I have with Lucca.