Suddenly Married

“Go ahead, just cry. It will lessen the pain,” Macy said while driving. I wiped away the tears that wanted to fall.

It really hurts deep inside me. I wanted to cry to reduce the weight I felt on my chest but also didn’t want to shed any tears. I asked her to drop me off at the mall a few meters away from our house.

“Be careful. If you need someone to talk to, I am just here,” she said before stopping the car. I just nodded at her and thanked her.

Kian called my number several times a while ago so I blocked his number. Even on my social media accounts. I don’t want to talk to him. As much as possible I also don’t want to see his face. But we go to the same school. We go home to the same house. I don’t know what to do now.

I walked around the mall until late at night. I don’t feel hungry. Nothing comes into my mind. I don’t know what to do and still thought of what had happened.

As far as I know, he lied and deceived me. I really want to reprove him. But I don’t want to utter hurtful words that I might regret later.

It was almost ten o’clock in the evening so I decided to take a taxi to go home- to my house. I did not look at the other house. But I’m sure the light is still off there. Looks like he didn’t come home yet. What is his plan now? Does he really stand up to whatever he and Jewel had in between them?

“Moo.”

I was surprised when Kian suddenly called me. He was sitting outside the door of my parents’ house. He seems to expect me to come home here. I didn’t speak to him and didn’t even look at him. I took the key from my bag while ignoring Kian.

I pushed him because he tries to reach my hands. Forced me to hug him. I don’t want to shout. I don’t want to utter hurtful words.

Even when I’m hurting I try to stay calm. But that doesn’t mean I’m okay with what he did. That we are just fine. We are not okay the moment he lied to me.

“Please, let me explain,” he begged. Not now that I am really mad, hurt, and disappointed. I shooked my head and after I opened the door of our house I immediately went in and closed it.

I can hear Kian’s plea but I tried to ignore it. I went up to my room. I slid through the door while suppressing my tears. I heard Kian begging outside to talk to me. I feel my chest get heavier and heavier. I calmed myself before I lay down and chose to sleep with the pain and heaviness I felt.

I woke up around six in the morning because my stomach hurt. I remember, I didn’t eat last night. I got up and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. I will eat at the fast food outside the village before I go straight to school. I still feel heavy in my chest.

The pain I felt increased even more. I didn’t feel like coming to school but I didn’t want to waste what I had worked for for a few years just because of what Kian did. I don’t want the money my parents paid for the expensive tuition fee at the university I’m attending to be in vain.

When I opened the door, Kian’s face is what I see. He was carrying a food container that I’m sure contained the food he cooked.

“G-Good morning, Moo,” he said stammering. He couldn’t look into my eyes and he was also undecided whether to smile or not.

I did not speak. I immediately closed the door of the house.

“I-I cooked a breakfast for you. Are you going now? Have a breakfast first,” he said. I remembered the effort I made for the surprise dinner last night, so here’s my annoyance again. I looked at him sharply which made him dumbfounded.

“Moo, eat first. I woke up early so I could cook for you-”

“So, should I be thanking you for what you did?” I asked sarcastically.

“Moo…”

“Let me go first, Kian. I’m pissed. I’m so mad at you. So you’d better stay away from me first. Don’t show yourself to me now.” I could see the fear in his eyes so I averted my gaze.

“I’m sorry, Moo. Please, let me explain.”

“If I didn’t find out, would you tell me? If I didn’t know the truth…” I took a deep breath and looked up as I felt tears forming in my eyes. I didn’t continue what I should say.

I immediately turned my back on him, before I could utter bad and hurtful words to him.

I forced to eat a lot to gain strength. When I arrived at the university I passed on Jewel on the benches.

“I didn’t see you came in together,” she said with a smirk on her lips. This woman has a very thick face.

“So, does it mean you two were separated already?”

I smiled.

“You wish.”

That’s all I said. Did she think that she can make us separate that easily? While I was in class, my phone vibrated. The text message was from an unregistered number.

“Moo, let’s have lunch together later. I’m sorry. Please, let me explain. Let’s talk. Don’t be like this.”

I rolled my eyes. It’s either he’s using his friend’s number or he bought another number. I blocked the number he used just now.

Kian came to see me after my morning class. I ignored him. He also didn’t try to approach me or to kiss and hug me like he always does.

He said he ordered food and we would just eat on the bench under the tree. Maybe he thought I didn’t want to eat with his friends and to avoid Jewel who is always on his side. I don’t want to make a scene and I don’t want Jewel to know that my husband and I are in a fight because of what happened. So even though it’s against my will and even though I am very angry with Kian, I went with him and we ate lunch together. He didn’t try to say any word.

He knew that I don’t want to create any scene here. Because I don’t want other people’s attention on us. After we ate, he walked me to my classroom.

In the afternoon, we didn’t go home together because my class ended earlier. I went home to my parents’ house.Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

At eight o’clock in the evening, Kian knocked on the door of my house. I didn’t open it even though he called my name several times.

“Remember, I love you so much. It’s just you,” he said.

It made me cry even harder. Why is it so hard to believe what he told? If he loves me why he was tempted that easily? Why did he lie? Why did he cheat on me?