Chapter 54 places and time apart
I took a lot of air before I entered the mausoleum inside the private cemetery of the Alcantaras. My hand is full of flowers, all sorts of chocolates, and toys for my son.
My son. My dead son.
The word brings so much pain in my heart.
When I entered the room, I was immediately greeted by Errol’s smiling faces in giant frames attached to every corner.
It felt like I’m looking at my childhood photos.
It’s his picture during his baptismal, his first birthday, and when he was I think a few days old. He’s so small there… so fragile and so tiny.
I stood there in the middle too overwhelmed by the feeling of love, sadness, and regret. My hands shook and my grips on the shopping bags loosened. It’s like my knees have lost their strength.
I took a deep breath and picked up the ones on the floor one by one and offered them at the foot of the altar where Errol’s smiling face was waiting. It overflowed so much that I just put the remaining toys and food on the bottom.
With trembling hands, I reached for his picture and looked closely at the spitting image of myself. My tears fell on the mirror of the picture frame so I quickly wiped it away. I sat on the floor while still holding his picture and just stared at my child’s happy face.
“Your mom is right. You look so much just like me. You have my whole face except the eyes. You got your eyes from your grandmother.”
I touched his face and smiled.
“So handsome. My baby is so handsome.”
I breathed hard and looked down to conceal my crying face. I released the emotion first and after a little bit of a minute, I looked back at the photo of my son again.
“Honestly, I’m embarrassed to face you, son. It’s because I failed the two of you. I’m a failure. I failed to protect you and your mother. I’m sorry.” My voice broke. “I’m sorry son… But I’m here now. I’m here, son. Your father is here. I finally meet you Errol. I’m late but… I’m here already.”
I kissed his picture and just sat there for the entire time talking to my child whom I will never see in person forever.
“You look so much like me, son. How I would love to see you in flesh, healthy and strong while your mother and I will hold you in our arms.”
I stayed inside for a few more hours. It was getting dark when I said goodbye to my son. I also put flowers on the grave of Karina’s father and brother. I offered a prayer and asked for their forgiveness.
“I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to protect your daughter and grandson. I failed. I just hope that Karina is happy now. Wherever she is, I hope that she takes my advice.”
I sighed and looked at the ring on my finger remembering my wife whom I had just let go.
I really hope you’re starting to live the best time of your life, wife.
Before leaving, I arranged the things that I brought, including the flowers and toys that my mother had brought earlier.
After arranging everything, I looked at the place and smiled.
I can’t wait to come back here tomorrow to spend the rest of my days with my son here.
One year after
Lyon, France
I breathed the fresh air and opened my eyes to the blinding lights coming from every building in the city of Lyon. It’s December 8 again which is that time of the year when the place is teeming with tourists to celebrate the Festival of Lights.
From the Fourvière hill, the Basilica of Notre-Dame de Fourvière is shining and glittering in lights. The other establishments are not lagging behind either. Everyone brags about who has the best and brightest lights.
For a moment, I thought the whole city transformed into a big ball of gigantic light that twinkles from up here.
“No wonder you loved it here. Lyon is a very beautiful place.”
Kristine stood next to me with a bottle of champagne and filled my half glass.
“Thank you,” I said and continued watching the lights from below.
“So, you’re going tomorrow?” she asked after a while.
“Yup, my flight is already tomorrow. I’ll see you again in a year.”
“In that case, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in advance to you. I’m going to greet you now because we know I won’t be able to contact you during those days,” she joked.
I laughed and smiled. “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Kris.”
We looked back at the beauty of the place.
“What a way to end this night, right?” she said.
I sipped on my glass and agreed.
“Indeed.”
Months After
I just got out of the car with Atty. Gualvez when the press immediately flashed their cameras on us. Journalists rushed in my direction trying to get a testament from me. My bodyguards blocked them.
“Mr. Gastrell, what can you say about the case you filed against Elizabeth and Ymir Asturia and that it is finally moving forward?” asked one.
“Sir, are you completely severing your relationship with the Asturias?”
“Sir, do you have any news about your wife Karina Gastrell?”
I stopped walking when I heard the name that has never left my mind for the past year and a half.
I took off my aviator and faced the reporter.Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.
“I would be the happiest if you stop treating this case as your ground to drag my family’s name back to your night shows and news tidbits. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we still have a court hearing to attend to.”
The bodyguards parted the crowd so that we could enter the Regional Trial Court.
Christmas Eve
I happily opened the scattered gifts in the mausoleum and placed them one by one in front of my child’s picture frame.
“Look, son. I bought you another set of Star Wars and Marvel figures collectibles. It’s different from the other one that I bought you the other month. This is more special since I got this from a collector in Europe. Where can we put it here?”
I looked around inside and just shook my head when the showcases were overflowing with all the toys I gifted to my son. I smiled at myself and looked at the frame.
“Oh, I didn’t realize it was already full. I need to have another cabinet here.”
I then proceeded to open the other presents and neatly stacked them to the side.
“Merry Christmas, son.” I kissed his frame and put it back.
After finishing the arrangement, I leaned against the cold wall and happily looked at the fresh flowers with my wife’s name on them. I raised the cup to it.
“Merry Christmas, wife. Don’t worry. Your family and our son are not alone here. I’m with them. May you have the merriest Christmas, Karina,” I whispered in the air.
Dubai
I put down the book on the empty lounge chair beside me and stared at the stars in the night sky. I am just casually cruising in the yacht and enjoying my last night in this place before I go on my next itinerary tomorrow.
The cold wind in Dubai Marina is just soothing to my body. The skyscrapers, the waves, and the loneliness… they brought me a new sense of fulfilment.
I lay down and took off the necklace from my neck. I held it up high and shook it slowly. The clanking of the two rings and the pendant created a nice sound that resonated with my soul.
It’s been more than two years since I left the country to go back to my therapist. Everything is going smoothly so I decided that it’s time to embark on another journey. I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to try new things. For once, I wanted to be free like a bird in the sky.
Maybe I’ll find the forgiveness that I still can’t give to myself and the people who hurt me.
The alarm on my cell phone rang so I put the necklace back on. I picked the phone and watched as the countdown started. A minute later, the date changed, signaling that I had a new day to face. February 18. For two years I let myself worry about someone I left behind.
For the past years, I only let myself be carried away by my feelings for just a couple of minutes on this day only.
“Happy birthday, Cholo. I wish you more years to come,” I whispered in the darkness.
One year after
“Good morning, sir.”
I smiled formally at the secretary before returning the greeting.
“Good morning, Denise. What’s my schedule for today?”
I opened the office door and sat on the swivel chair and faced my laptop. She followed me with the Ipad in her hand and closed the door behind.
“Sir, you have a meeting with the Farrell Constructions for the Vyajitas project at nine this morning, a luncheon appointment with Mr. Sequirda at 12 noon, and an inspection of the Branch 15 branch company for the rest of the day.”
“Cut off the lunch meeting for only an hour. I need two hours of free time before I fly to Branch 15.”
“Got it, sir. What’s your mode of transportation?”
“Tell Marius to cancel the preparation of the plane. I’ll go with Luther.”
“Got it, sir. Anything to add?”
“There’s none. You can go.”
I scanned the table looking for something.
“Ah Denise, where’s today’s newspaper?”
“Sir, it’s outside. I’ll get it now.”
She went out and came back with what I needed.
“Thank you and coffee please.”
“Yes, sir.”
I immediately went into the business section of the paper but not before skimming through the article about the recent development of the case on the murder of Karina’s brother.
I was the first to know yesterday that the killers of his brother have been convicted of murder. As for the case of her father, malpractice is the only suit we can file against the hospital staff.
As for my case, the Asturias are doing everything they can to prolong the decision of the case. I’ve faced intimidating tactics from their side which I only threw back at them.
I have to admit that I struggled too. I know that they should not be taken lightly but with the help of my mother and the rest of my family, we see possibilities that we can achieve justice.
A knock on the door interrupted me. Denise’s face turned to the open door with a cup of coffee and an envelope.
“Excuse me, sir. There’s a package for you.”
She put the coffee and the envelope on my table and left.
I looked for any name or address in the envelope to have an idea from whom this is coming from. When I didn’t see anything, I opened it and took out some papers inside.
I read what was written and I almost turned pale. My energy was drained and all I could do was just repeat the first few words on the paper in my head. I just stared at the paper for a moment, the life slowly leaving my body. I’m trying to make sense of the dawning fact… of the imminent happening of what I feared the most.
What I was afraid of has come.
Because on my own table lies the piece of paper that has given me my death sentence.
It’s a copy of the petition of annulment of marriage from my one and only soon to be ex-wife, Karina Gastrell.